UMSHADO

CHAPTER 60

SIMS.

#NotEdited

I’m still on the floor crying my eyes out for this man that I love who’s my husband and my everything. I thought my marriage was strong, that no one can come between me and my husband. I thought our love and trust for each other was enough for both of us. Clearly I was wrong cause everything I thought was going on with him was because of his mom and everything but it wasn’t. He was having an affair with someone for the whole 6 months. He was making love to her while I got fucked like I was a piece of trash. I will never forget the picture of them together like that. Bonga broke me, he destroyed everything I believe in. My hopes and dreams. My trust for him and our marriage. My all and everything I have ever given this man wasn’t enough cause he saw fit to give and seek comfort in the arms of another woman.

I wipe my tears then get up and go to my bedroom. I take my phone then send luh a message that the breakfast picnic went great with bonga and I’ll see her tomorrow. I take off my clothes, wear my swim suit then go downstairs to the basement, open the cellar and take the wine bottles then leave. I hear a car pulling up and I look outside the window and it’s him. I turn and go outside the back yard put everything on the table then jump in the pool. I let the water caress my body as I swim lap, after lap after lap until I feel exhausted. I drag my tired body out of the water and  see him sitting there watching me. I ignore him dry myself, open the bottle of wine, pour it and drink. I gulp down three glasses then leave. I have to wash the chlorine off my skin.

Deciding not to have a housekeeper was the best decision I have ever made cause right now they would know that something is going on between me and my husband. It is just the two of  us in the house. The kids are not here to see what is going on and by Sunday when they come back I’ll make sure that I have put myself back together again. I don’t want anyone to know what is going in my marriage cause everyone will be up in my business and I also don’t want this to affect the others marriages.I guess that’s gojng to be my life right now. Pretending that everything is okay in our marriage.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself taking off the swimsuit. What is wrong with me that made my husband cheat on me?. Was it because I’m not skinny?, more beautiful enough? Not spontaneous cause I thought I was. I thought being open with our sex life he would resist the temptation to cheat because he is getting everything from me but obviously I was wrong and not spontaneous enough. Just when I think I have everything I have ever wanted then boom it all blows up in my face. My life is not as perfect as I thought. I wish these stupid tears would stop falling and I would stop feeling the way I’m feeling. My heart hurts so bad and it feels like my life is over and it has ended. God give me strength. I  see his reflection in the mirror and our eyes lock. I look away

“ There’s nothing wrong with you. You are absolutely perfect in every way.” He’s a mind reader now?.

“ wasn’t I enough for you? ” he sighs and walks in and stands behind me. He’s big, taller and stronger than me. I used to love it when he would stand behind, pull me closer to his chest then turn my head and kiss me senseless. But now I hate him standing behind me like that. I hate that I want to fall apart and let him comfort me knowing very well that he’s the reason I’m feeling this way.

“ You’ve always been enough for me. You’re everything to me simphiwe I know I hurt you but it was never my intention. ”

“ why did you do it then? ”

“ Because I was selfish and I wasn’t thinking about how it is going to destroy my family. ” I shake my head.

“ You mean you didn’t think I was going to find out right?. If luh didn’t… . You know what I’m done talking about this. For the whole 6 months you’ve been having an relationship with another woman. An affair and while I was here waiting for you, begging you to talk to me but you weren’t interested cause you wanted to be somewhere else away from me!.You fucked me like I was a piece of trash!. Do you know how how dirty you made me feel?. ”