UMSHADO

CHAPTER 74

LUNGI.

I thought i would be woken up with wet small kisses, little hands with all over my face but no. The bed is empty and I’m the only one in the bedroom. I wonder when did my little humans left the bed because we were all napping. I sit up and my body feels so heavy, like I should sleep for a long time and wake up after a week or so. I am physically and emotionally tired. I need a reset button from the moment thembi confessed the whole truth.

I get off the bed and go the bathroom. I splash my face with cold water to wake me up, I look at myself in the mirror and i look like hell. I have dark circles under my eyes even though my skin looks flushed. I don't know what time it is and i also don't know where my phone is.

I can hear voices as I step out of the bedroom. It sounds like the adults are here and I don’t know where the brothers are and if they are here then who's with my husband or my brother and mbuso's brothers are with him?. The closer I walk in, the more their voices get clearer and it's none other than uncle fanele who's leading the conversation. Gosh i was hoping I will not see or even talk to this man. They are sitting in the dining room table and it looks like they just had dinner. My family is here too and so that means my dad and uncle fanele are okay now, Well I hope they are.

" Oh you're awake sisi. How are you feeling?." mbuso"s birth mom asks.

" I am okay ma." I look around and i don't see bonga's mom. I sigh.

Maybe is should stop forcing them to be all in one room cause by the looks of things it's not going to happen. I quickly go to the kitchen cause I really don't want to talk about what happened earlier.

To my surprise when i get in the kitchen i find sims and her mother in-law. It's just the two of them and i am shocked cause I never expected it and that makes me think that even though everything seems dark, there is a little light coming in and maybe it's going to start with these two talking.

" I haven't seen you smiling since i got here but here you are. I s mbuso awake?."

" bathong sims I was napping. You're the one who should be telling me if my husband is awake." she looks down sadly. " I know he's not sis but soon he's going to wake up."

" I hope so luh. I want my son...I mean I want mbuso back home to you."

" ma, he's still your son too regardless of what happened." I take her hand in mine.

She's always going to be mbuso's mother in my eyes and my mother in-law because that's how i first knew here and to say she's now not is very hard. She has always been good to me and have been a mother in many ways. I wish we could all get along and look past what happened but i know it's not as easy as i think and want.

" what made me smile is seeing the two of you here together and drinking tea." they bot smile again.

" i was apologizing to uThandekile for how i have treating her all this time. I realised that i was taking out my fears out on her. I could see myself in her and that scared me. she's fierce and she goes after what she wants and she reminds me of who i was. I treated her that way cause I felt like she can see right through me, like she can see what i was hiding and that terrified me cause i knew if she finds out she was going to tell everyone but still the truth came out and i must say A huge load that has been weighing heavily in my shoulders has been lifted. I know everyone hates me and I am okay with it because I deserve it. I know I should be sleeping better because all the secrets are out but I don't.

I lie awake at night and think about all the years i spent lying to everyone I love. I ruined all your lives every day i spent with you not telling all of you the truth. I regret what i did and i wish I could go back and did what my brother asked me to do. Go home with them. Feel the love they grew around in. I was young, stupid and i didn't know what love is. The first time I experienced what love is was when qwabe told me he loved me. I know he thought he was telling my sister but to me each and everyday he said that those words felt like they were directed to me and i started believing that. I have said very hurtful things to you and accused you of many things and you never deserved that. I am so sorry baby. I really am."