UMSHADO

CHAPTER 78

MBUSO.

I know both of my mom's still have a long road for them to be able to have what they once had. I am very hopeful that as time goes on we will be a one big happy family but for that to happy it is all on dad's hands. He's the one who has to decide what he's going to do with both of them. I love my birth mother very much but hearing mother say that she will step aside to give my mom and dad a chance to be try and fix things between them didn't sit well with me. I know she loves my dad very much and dad worships the ground she walks on, well he used to but I know he still does.
Everyone is still in the living room talking about themselves. Both my mother's come in too and sit down. Zipho though isn't back I hope he will because we are leaving tonight.
" Uhm everyone cann I have your attention?." They look at me." I would like to thank you for all being here and showing us support but most importantly for being there for my wife. My accident really scared her and she's still not okay. It really shook her and she's not her normal self. I would like all of you to give her space and not stress her until she feels better again. Anything you need I'm sure sims and Lesego will help you."
" She's taking it harder than she should. I mean you didn't die so she can have all your money so what's her problem?." my uncle says.
" I see you want me to punch you again on your face. I told you to stop talking about my daughter like that?." my father in says to my uncle.
" Malume what did you say about my wife that made my father in law punch you?."
" he accused luh of wanting you to die so she can have all your money." Bonga says.
" Malume why would you say that about my wife when you don 't even know her?."
" Well she..."
" with all due respect malume but please. Never ever in your life disrespect my wife like that or accuse her of wanting my money or anything else. If you really knew luh, you would know that if it was possible she would have traded places with me. She told me to let things go but I didn't listen to her and I got into that accident. Had I listened to her we all wouldn't be here. You can say anything malume to anyone but please dont disrespect the women of this family, including my mother sebenzile and our helpers who also part of this family. I would hate for you to be not one of us if you keep saying disrespectful things about my wife.  Siyezwana angithi?." He nods.
" She shouldn't have looked guilty like she knew something?." he says. This man doesn’t listen.
" You will apologize to my wife and ask for forgiveness."
" I will not..."
" You will uncle. If you don't want to then get up and get out of this house and our lives. Forever!." we both stare at each other until he looks away. Good boy.
The door open and zipho walks in with a girl who's hiding behind him. He's carrying a big suitcase. Zipho looks at me.
" Can everyone else leave excluding my mothers, dad, my father in-law, uncle victor sims mom and luh's aunt. Zipho and her will stay behind. " I don't want victor and sims mom to feel left because they were her parents too.
" Is everything okay brother?." bonga asks looking at zipho and I.
" When the time is right everyone will know."  he nods. I want to tell him but I want to respect luh's wishes.
" sbu please stay."  he nods.
They get up and leave us. You can see that my uncle was not okay with being left out but he saw the looks on my face and backed down. I don't trust the man for shit. If he wasn't my uncle then I'm sure we'll  be talking a different story.
My little brother sits down and his girl takes a seat next to him. I know what mom is thinking. This is not the same girl he showed up with at my house in Ladysmith. She looks at me and I shake my head a little. She nods.
Scelo comes in and sits down. I knew this fool wasn't going to just leave.
" I know this involves my sister so I'm not going anywhere."  I nod.
" Can I say something?." zipho asks looking at me.
" let me get luh first then we will explain why everyone is here."
I walk to the room she's sleeping in and I hear voices inside. I smile and open the door. They are playing with each other and my wife is watching them with so much love and adoration on her face. This is my family. The family I almost lost because I wanted revenge but that revenge almost got me killed amongst other things. They see and keep quiet. Fuck I forgot I look  like shit. I hope they still recognize me. I walk in slowly and they move closer to their mom. I want to chuckle so instead I bite my lip suppressing my smile.
" who's this?." luh asks them. " Is it daddy?." they look at her frowning.
" Can I sit?." their heads turn when they hear my voice. I walk in and sit on the edge of the table. I can't believe I'm scared that my kids are afraid of me because of the way my face is.
" Go to daddy and give him a hug. He misses you." Luh says.
They look at me, look at her, look at me again then look at their mom again before looking at each other making a decision. They stare at each other for a while like they are having a silent conversation infront of us. They come into a decision and crawl on the bed to me.
" Hey boys." I smile and point my index finger up. They look at each other and smile. They point their little index fingers up and place them next to mine. It's something that the three of us do. I used to do it when they still babies but it ended being something that is like a ritual between the three of us.
I pull them to me and give them a big hug They hug me back. I kiss their chubby cheeks and they laugh. I live for these moment. I would never trade them for anything in this world. Sboniso brushes my chin where I had my beard and it feels a little rough on his hand.
" come here." she gets and also crawls to the bed and wraps her arms around us. I hold her tight and kiss her hair.
" I love you. All of you are my world and I almost lost you. I promise all of you that I will never ever do anything again that will make me lose you. I love you boys and I love your mom."
" Love you too daddy." they sing.
" Mommy?." she looks at sboniso?.
" you love daddy?." she smiles.
" I love you both and I love daddy too." she palms their cheeks.
My wife is really broken and sad. Her smile doesn't light her face and reach her eyes. I hate seeing like this and I wish I can take away the pain she's feeling right now. I am sad like her because we both lost a child we didn't know we were expecting. Had I have known I would have done things differently. I do blame myself for us losing our child but what I can do now is to be there for her and help her heal.
" Love?." she looks at me. I kiss her plump pink lips. The kids laugh. " I called a meeting with the elders to tell them about you, us losing the baby. I had asked zipho to bring his girlfriend, the one that lost the baby and they are back. I hope you are okay with that."
" It's okay baby. Is your uncle there too?."
" he's not. I know what happened and I had a talk with him."
" mbuso I don't want problems with your maternal family?."
" Don't worry love you won't but if anyone gives you trouble or stress then I will deal with them. I don't care who it is. No one hurts you and gets away with it." she sighs.
" I want you to stop dealing with people permanently."
" I won't do anything that will hurt you and put us in this situation again. I promise you."
" Where are our sheets?."
" uMah put them in the closet. She told me she knows what happened and she's also blaming herself."
" who else is blaming themselves?."
" I do love I know...."
" mbuso stop. This isn't your fault, her fault or anyone elses. Don't blame yourself my husband please. It hurts very much that we lost our child for you to be here and I'm thankful that it was our unborn baby than the one’s we have right now. We will have other children although they won't replace the one we lost. We will always remember him or her." I wipe her tears.
I want to tell her that it was our beautiful baby girl who looked exactly like her but I know if I tell her that it will crush her.
" I was thinking that It will be better if we go to Ladysmith and while we sort this whole thing of going to the river and fixing what was done in the past."
" I would like that."
" I can tell them alone if you don't want to be there."
" I want to be there."
" ok love let's go."
I pick up our kids and walk to the dining room. When we get there everyone is there excluding the other kids. We stop walking and look at each other. The kids look at me then look at Busani and back at me again. everyone laughs. Busani comes forward and stops next to us.
He takes sbobelo from me and my son goes willingly. He tries to take sboniso fro me he goes too but he's still looking at me. My sons looks at each other then cry for me. Everyone laughs and I take them back and they stop crying.
" This is daddy brother." Luh says smiling at them. " He looks like daddy just like look like each other. Your twins and daddy is a twin too." my kids are confused.
She walks to where my moms are. I follow her.
" This is gogo." she says to uMah." and this is grandma." she says to my birth mother. " they are twins too like you and daddy."
Both grandmother's take them and kiss them but my kids want none of that cause they start crying again. we take them and go back to stand where we were.
" ok what's going on. Why is everyone here?."
" obviously something is going on with the two of you. We are family brother and you can't exclude us from whatever that is going on between the two of you. Whatever that is we will face together and not apart." Bonga says.
Sims and lesego take the kids from us. I pull luh under my arm and she rests her head on my chest.
" Are you fighting and getting a divorce?." my uncle has a death wish.
" fanele!." both his sisters yell his name.
" Dad I think you should leave now because you really are skating on thin ice." mbuyi says to his dad
" what? I'm just asking." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My wife entwines our hands together.
I bend my head down and put it on her neck and inhale her. I let her scent fill all my senses and I calm down.
" you want to sit down?." she shakes her head no.
I lift up and look at everyone.
" Can I say something?."  my twin brother says. I nod.
" I know we have just met each other again after being separated but please don't exclude us from your family. I know all of you have this tight bond and I love it. I've seen how everyone is with each other, the love and how they talk about you and luh. I want that. We all want that because we don't have this closeness that you have brother with each other. You are my twin brother, these are my brothers too. Sicelo, frank and sbu all of them are my brothers too. These other brothers form your other side of the family also want to be more than just blood brothers but in everyway possible."
He walks and stands in front of us. I am looking at myself. This fool looks like me physically in everyway. I hope he has tattoos. I don't want my kids to confuse us.
" I know you don't trust us and maybe you are not sure of our intensions or something look brother I don't know but what I know is. Your kids are my kids too. I would trade my life for yours and either of my brothers. There's nothing I wont do for you and your family. Don't shut us out please. If I have to prove myself then I will. You can trust me."
It kind of hurts me to hear that my brothers think that I'm excluding them from certain things and that my twin brother wants to prove himself to me. That hurts me cause he shouldn't even say anything like that. If he is anything like me then I know I can trust him with my life and family's life.
" Guys I'm sorry to everyone for making you feel excluded. You are right bonga. We are family and we don't hide things from each other no matter how bad or ugly they are. I was only doing this because I wanted luh to be comfortable and no we are not getting a divorce or fighting. Hell I love this girl, she's my everything and nothing or no one will take her away from me." I kiss her forehead.
" We know something is going on. Luh hasn't been herself and we are worried about her." Sims says.
" I almost died. I was close to leaving her with two boys who are almost four years. How wish she be herself sims when everything is weighing heavy on her shoulders?. Look guys this was nt about any of you at all. I asked zipho to bring his girl here for a reason."
The girl has been hiding her head on that huge jacket she's wearing.
" Luh please sit down." uMah says. I pull a chair for her and she does. Uncle victor takes her hand in his and she sniffs. My mother begins to cry as well. Dad goes to her and gives her his handkerchief. He still loves her.
" Luh kababa what's wrong?."
I take a deep breath.
" I was respecting my wife's wishes when I asked the elders to stay behind. It wasn't our of disrespect for any of you. When I woke from the hospital I knew something was wrong so I discharged myself and came here and...." Fuck this harder that I thought it would be when I say it infront of everyone. I thread my hand to hers. 
" when I came to our bedroom well.... my wife...unfortunately had a miscarriage. We lost our child and..." shocked gasps breakout. Sims, lesego, her aunt and my mom wami rush to luh crying. They embrace her and my brothers embrace me too. I hate this feeling. I hate seeing my wife cry. I absolutely hate it.
" we wanted to mourn our child but we also had to tell our parents for a ceremony to be done. Zipho and his girlfriend also lost a child because of themba. He put an abortion drug in her drink and she lost the baby. All of us need to be cleansed before we can go ahead with everything." They nod.
Luh hugs zipho's girlfriend and cry together with the women. My brothers are looking defeated. They don't know what to say or do and I understand.
The door open and it's Percy with...wait is that sbani and her grandmother?. I look at sbu and he looks at me then goes to them. Dad goes too.
" Sanibonani bantabami." sbani's grandmother says. My birth mother stand up and waljks to her looking shocked.
" Gogo usaphila?." her eyes fill with tears.
" I am baby. I never thought they will  find you." she says and looks at me.
She walks slow steps until she stops where luh is now standing.
" Oh life hasn't been fair to you. It has been very hard mzukulu but don't worry. Ugogo ukhona manje." luh bursts into tears and cries like the time Thami died. I hate this!.  Gogo pulls luh to her and gives comforts her whispering to her.

God please just give my wife a chance to be finally have the happiness she deserves.  Why does she always have to pay for other people’s mistakes?. Why do bad things happen to good people and not the ones who really deserve what they did?.
How did got know where we are?. Oh sbu must have told them where we are and what happened. I wonder what she is going to say now. Oh wait. Is this the help my great grandmother was talking about?.