UMSHADO

CHAPTER 90

LUNGI.

My husband might think that I'm playing and not being serious but I actually am. I am curious about it and I really want to do it and I am happy that he has agreed to do it. I know he's going to make it worth it for me. I have been reading about it and hearing from some of the girls that they have done it made me want to do it too.
" Finally you guys decided to join us. We have been waiting for you." bonga says.
" where is gogo xulu?." I ask bonga.
" she's at her house."
" so we must drive there?." my husband asks
" yes. Lets go."
" I'll see you later when you come back."
" you are coming with us. She said you must be there too." sbani says.
We leave the Lodge and drive for 20 kilometres to gogo xulu house. The construction of the Zikalala house is coming along very good. They really are working hard and trying to make sure that they are working as fast as possible.
We get out of the car and there are many people in gogo's house. I don't know if they are here to consult or what. Sbani tells us to wait outside while she goes to gogo. I look at my husband at his brother and they are too quiet. I hope my husband forgave his brother when he finally told him the truth and I hope tomorrow will be the new beginning for all of us because this family really needs it.
" Bhuti mbuso. Bhuti busani nawe sisi lungi gogo says to follow me then bonga and will follow after." she gives bonga a seat then we follow her, she instructs us to take off our shoes and then we get inside the hut.
" She will be with you shortly."
We sit in silence and busani looks out of place. We all do look out of place cause we have never went for a consultation to anyone before. I wonder what is gogo going to say when she gets here. I take mbuso's hand and I feel his body relaxing a bit.
Gogo comes in followed by sbani and another young man. She's wearing traditional healer clothes with brown and black leopard  print colours and a yellow doek on her head. Sbani has a yellow blanket that is covering her shoulders and so is the young man. They put gogo in the middle then light candles and pour water on the silver bowl then she lights seven sticks of matches  then throws them on the bowl.
They begin to pray, we close our eyes and listen and say amen when they are done. Gogo looks so different and the aura around her is the one of old age wisdom. 
" Mnguni and your wife. You two did the nasty and now you're here but it's okay let us continue. Tomorrow we are finally doing what your great grandmother is expecting from you and we are going to the river where it all began. I have talked to your mothers and we are going to start with them then it will be you mbuso who's going to be cleansed after. I will be in the river with you but uSipho here will be the one who will be washing your whole body since you are a man and I cannot touch you. After it will be busani's turn then your kids will come in with you mbuso you will be the one who will be washing the little one's when sipho pours the water on them. You will wash one child after another and you will pray ask for everything you wish they would have."
My husband agrees with gogo but where do I fit in this whole thing. Why am I wanted.
" khanyo you also have to be there because they want you to take the kids with you after they come out from the river. You will cover your children with the cloths I will provide then you will get in the car with your husband, his brother and your children and drive away making sure that you don't turn your head don't look back. Do you understand me mzukulu?."
" I understand gogo." I guess I will have to make sure that the rear view mirror is facing away from my eyes.
" Mbuso nawe busani. For everything to go well for all of you. If your ancestors don't come through and reveal themselves to you then I am afraid that things are not going to go well for everyone." she says shaking her head
" What does all of that mean gogo?." my husband asks/
" It means that kusasa when you are in the river and you don't see a snake. Inyoka yase manzini then I'm afraid that your ancestors are not happy with the things that are happening in the family but if you do see the snake then everything will go perfectly well for you but as I'm listening to them and looking here I don't see anything wrong for now." she keeps quiet for a while. My God a snake?
" We will leave very early in the morning before the sun rises. Mnguni you will not be intimate with your wife and you will not drink alcohol, that goes for you too busani. The ceremony that has to happen will happen the next week before your father goes to pay the damages to the Zikalala's. Khanyo I hope all the things that they told you to buy and do, you still remember them. Do you?."
" I do gogo and I have brought everything."
" Good then."
" Busani. You seem to have allot on your mind. Things seem to be not going well for you and you feel like you don't know who you are. Your twin was the only one that was introduced to the ancestors after you were born but they don't know you because your mother. The woman that gave birth to you and the Zikalala's didn't go to the gumede's to tell them about their daughter being pregnant. After your twin brother was introduced to your ancerstors and he was accepted by them, some of the things that were going to affect him went to you because you were not introduced to them the same may your brother was. You sometimes feel like you don't know where you belong or fit in so you do things to try feel the void that you have inside of you. You will be cleansed mzukulu and the clarity you seek you will find. Things will change for you and I see a very bright future for you. Your father though must have a ceremony for you to introduce you to your gumede ancestors and you have to take your  rightful surname. " gogo says.
" There's someone though who's coming and they are going to try to come between you and your brother but she will not succeed. This woman that is in your life is not good. She's up to something with your mother."
" Alice?."
" Yes her. She's will be here soon." busani shakes his head. I wonder what is owami up to now.
" Your mother....Your birth mother hmmmm. It's all up to her ancestors now. They tried to help her but she doesn't want help and hmmmm......"
" Is something going to happen to her?." busani asks.
" It is all up to her now. That's all I can say."
" Mangcobo. You carry the weight of all this family. Both the Gumede's and the Zikalala's. All of them including your blood ancestors are with you child. You are blessed, your husband is blessed because of you and your children too." she looks at the bowl, then at me and smiles. " Indeed blessed. It's not everyday I see something like this."
" thank you gogo."
" They are telling me that I must prepare something for you luh for protection. Yes.....I see." she says nodding.
" This is it for now. I will see all of you in the morning. At 4am you have to be here so we can be at the river before the sun rises. All of you have to leave at the same time. I had already told your mothers. You will not bath when you come back from the river but you can do anything after that." she looks at me and my husband. I blush and look down. " Do you have any questions?." The brothers look at each other.
" Is something bad going to happen to my wife gogo?."
" Don't worry mzukulu. No harm will come to her now that I know." I don't like that at all.
" Mbuso your brothers need guidance from you. You are the eldest in both families and many responsibilities of both families are going to lie on you and your wife's shoulders. You may go now and call your brother to come in."
We get up and leave the rondavel. We walk to bonga and he gets up and goes to the hut too. We get in the car and sit. No one is talking and I just want to let them be in their thoughts. I'm just wondering why does gogo have to prepare something that will protect me?. What do I need protection from and why?. Can I just get a break my God!.
We wait for almost an hour for bonga and when he comes back he's quiet too. I wonder what gogo said. We drive back to the lodge and they go to different directions. I go look for my kids and they are in the pool with my brother and he's teaching them how to swim.
" Look at you guys and your uncle." He sees me and smiles.
" When did you come back?."
" just now. How are they doing?."
" They are fish."
" My kids are not fish man." My husband says from behind me.
" They are not afraid of the water, so they are fish." 
Mbuso walks infront of me and he's half naked. He's wearing surfer shorts and I am happy that they are not tight. My husband looks so good. He crouches down in front of me.
" Why don't you go and change then come and join us."
" You want me to be half naked in front of everyone?."
" Why would you be half naked?."
" I'll be wearing my one piece swimming costume."
" Hell no."
" What did you think I was going to wear then?."
" your jean shorts and a tank top love. I won't let anyone see you naked."
" I'll wear something on top to cover myself though?."
" No."
" I'm going to nap. You get in that pool and swim with your kids. Tomorrow we have a long day."
" I know love. I'm just worried about you and what she said."
" Do you think someone in our family wants to hurt me?."
" Yeah it could be fanele. I know I promised you that I'm done killing people but love if I catch anyone trying to do anything to you then I will do what I have to do."
" I know baby but gogo said no harm will come to me."
" I know but I wont let my guard down love and so should you."
" Ok. I'm going to nap, I am tired."
" Want me to join you?." I laugh.
" we are not having sex baby."
" But we can do other things?."
" Nope. Keep your hands to yourself."
" I can't do that. You are too damn sexy and you know my hands are always itching to be all over your body."
" Don't you get enough baby?."
" Hell no. Do you get enough of this?." He takes my feet and runs it on his chest then back up into his mouth.
" You will not do that again infront of me and your kids. What is wrong with you too?." My brother says and I laugh. " I haven't forgiven both of you for what you did."
" Sorry." we both say and laugh.
My husband gives me a very hot kiss then jumps in the pool then busani and bonga come in and jump in the pool too. I get up and go to the kitchen first and make myself a sandwich, make juice and then eat it. I see the women that work here watching the boys in the pool. I would watch them too if I was single. The ladies giggle and talk amongst themselves.
Two of them decide to bring refreshments to them. They thank them then continue talking and teaching the kids to swim. I giggle then go to my room and nap.
Later at night I feel hands on my face. Wet little kisses on my face. I open my eyes and see my son watching me. I smile and pull him to me and tickle him. He laughs so hard begging me to stop. He smells so good like his dad.
" where's your dad baby?." he still laughing. The bathroom door opens and they come out. He was bathing them.
" You're finally awake. I asked them to save your plate. I'm sure you're hungry."
He sits on the bed and begins to put clothes on sboniso and my baby doesn't give his dad a hard time.
" I'm not hungry. What time is it?."
" It's 10 pm love and these little people have to sleep. I thought  playing on the water would tire these guys out but it didn't."
" They look sleepy and they are sleeping with us right?."
" Yes love. That's why I took them."
I sit up and they come to me and sit on my lap. I kiss their cheeks and they close their eyes. I hold them until they fall asleep. We just watch them in comfortable silence. I love these three people very much. My husband takes them and puts them in bed.
" Are you sure you're not hungry?."
" I am baby."
"Are you ready for tomorrow?."
" I am love."
" What happened to themba and that girl?."
" Themba is dead. Frank killed him and gave the girl that drug that wiped her whole memory."
" What?. How is her family going to find her?."
" He left her outside her house."
" Ohk. I thought that maybe you're the one...."
" Hey I promised you that I won't kill again but I will if I have to okay?."
" Okay." We kiss then he gets in bed. The kids are in the middle sleeping. We thread our hands and just look at each other until I fall asleep while he's watching me.
" wake up mzukulu. Wake up sisi."
I open my eyes and see khokho Zikalala. She's in my bed and we are at my house in durban.
" Gogo?." I sit up and she takes my hand to hers.
" Are you healing?." I sigh.
" I am gogo. Everyday I am healing." she nods and pats my hand.
" It will get better mzukulu. Trust me." I nod. She gets up and walks aound my bedrrom.
" I want my bedroom to like yours. Decorate it like this so whem I visit I feel like I'm at home."
" I will gogo."
" I know you are a Gumede bride but you're our bride too and I want to be able to visit your home and be around great, great grandkids and their kids."
" I will do that gogo."
" When you and your husband decide to do a ceremony of welcoming your ancestors don't forget to also bring us. We might have different surnames but you and mbuso bind us together. We are here for all of you. All we need is just for you to acknowledge us now and then."
" Ngiyakuzwa gogo." she comes back and looks at me again. She looks sad. " Is everything okay gogo?."
" Not everything mzukulu. We asked that there mustn’t be blood spilling and there was none but the anger and secrets that are surrounding this family is what that's going to destroy this family."
" I know gogo. What  do you want me to do? Talk to them?."
" You talked to them and some didn't listen. We have tried to warn them but they still refuse to listen and now it is out of our hands."
" Is someone going to die gogo?."
" I  am going to need you to be strong and hold this family together when the time comes. I need you to be their pillar of strength."
" Gogo I don't know if I can do that. Why does every responsibility from this family be put on my shoulders?."
" Who else besides you?."
" Uncle fanele has a wife and a daughter gogo. Why can't they be the one's who deal with all the responsibilities?."
" They are not selfless mzukulu. They are not like you. They do not have your heart and they wouldn't understand what it really takes to be the glue that binds the family. You are that glue and when you have been chosen to be the one that leads no one can dispute that no matter what they do."
I shake my head.
" You are more than just a bride mzukulu. You are what the Gumede and Zikalala family need to be one. They will all need you."
" Gogo please tell me."
" Your kids won't go in the river without you. I need you to go with them and help your husband bath them. Whatever you see in the river don't be scared. It won't hurt you. We will all be there. Bring 5 rand coins for you, your husband, children and your twin brother's husband. MaXulu will give you something to wear. After you are done I want all of you to leave and go straight to your house in durban. The next day you will cook a big feast that all of you will eat. You will come back here a week before the ceremony to prepare everything. We are counting on you."
" I won't let you down gogo."
" We are watching over all of you. The Gumede's are so, so proud of you. You are now a mother to the family and not just a bride. They call you the Matriach of this family.  Bonga and Thandiwe will be blessed and so will Zipho and his wives." She puts her hand on my stomach and smiles. " Be blessed child and continue to grow the family and don't let people come to your family and cause chaos." Tears fall. She gives me a very warm, and she hug then she disappears.
I open my eyes and look up. Mbuso is holding me on his chest and his heart is beating fast.
" Hey what's wrong?." I ask him.
" You were crying again in your sleep." I sigh.
" It's okay baby. I was just dreaming that's all. I am fine." I'm not fine. How can I be when I know someone is going to die?.
" We have two more hours before we wake up." He sleeps next to me and I fall asleep again.
We woke up at 3 am, brushed our teeth and left with the kids still sleeping. My husband is the one driving and busani is sitting on the front with him. I'm in the back with the kids and on the other car scelo is driving my husband's mothers and bonga is going to be driving with gogo and the others.
When we get there they get in the car and we drive to the river, which isn't scary looking because most trees have been cut down. Gogo and sbani are the ones who come out of the car first and they prepare their things. I look at the time and its 4:30 am and it is still dark. I look at my kids and they are awake but they quiet then I see that they are holding each other's hands. They don't look afraid but... God I don't know!.
The sound of the water moving has me feeling scared because is almost deafening. Gogo's dream keeps playing in my head and I don't now if Ii should tell my husband or not but I will. We have to carry this thing between us because I won't be able to do it alone.