James and Oliver Phelps Imagines

You're enough (James)

Request for delilahrosemalfoy 💖💖
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TRIGGER WARNINGS: self harm
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James was still at the studio shooting the Harry Potter movies and you thought he was going to be back much much later and your arms were currently itching so of course, you went to the bathroom and paid a visit to your shiny silver little friend. You untaped the silver blade from the back of the toilet, sat down against the tub and held it up to your wrist.

You debated on whether to cut or not, you knew it was more risky as James had seen the scars a few days ago but you just lied and said they were from when you were young. You had an internal conflict in your head but decided to do it anyway, since he doesn't check anyway.

You pressed the cool blade against your skin and sighed in relief as you dragged it across, painting your wrist red. Tears rolled down your cheeks onto the cold tiles. One, then two, then three, then you stopped keeping count after a couple more.

You were so engrossed in your activities that you didn't even notice James had come home and was calling for you, your tears drowning out his voice. You watched entranced as the blood dripped down your arms, barely getting breath between sobs. You raised your blade about to make another one when it was snatched out of your hand. You looked up through your teary eyes to meet James's hazel ones that were also glossed over.

"I'm sorry" was all you managed to whisper and you completely lost it. You broke out in tears and your body racked with sobs. James wiped away the tear on his cheek, flushed the blade and scooped you into his lap. He reached for a towel and presses it to your wrists to stop the bleeding. You winced and gripped onto his shirt, soaking it with salty tears. The two of you held onto each other for dear life, both trying to stop your tears.

James gently lifted your chin and pressed a warm, gentle kiss onto your lips. "Why baby?" he whispered but you just shook your head and clinged onto him again. He decided he would ask later when you had calmed down. He picked you up and sat you on the sink, then got the first aid kit and disinfected the cuts as gently as he could. You hissed and buried your face in his neck and he kissed the top of your head. "Almost done baby" he reassures.

Once he finished bandaging them, he wiped your tear stained face, then picked you up and carried you to the bed where he sat you on his lap, holding you tight in his arms. "Why baby? Can you tell me darling?" he tried again, kissing your head. "Everything is too much Jamie" you whimpered. "All the hate, they say I don't deserve someone as amazing as you and that I shouldn't even be here, and I feel so numb but it hurts at the same time, it's overwhelming bubby, it hurts so much" you mumbled and your tears started falling again.

James gently wiped them away with his thumb and brought you into his chest, rubbing your back trying to comfort you. "Dont listen to them darling, of course you're enough for me, I love you so so much, you mean everything to me baby. How long?" he asked. "Couple months now" you whispered and his arms tightened around you. "I'm so sorry I haven't noticed angel, I'm so sorry that you felt so alone" "It wasn't your fault James, there was no way you could've known" you quickly reassured him.

"I know you can't just simply stop for me or anyone. All I ask is the next time you feel the urge to do it please come to me, no matter what time or what I'm doing I will drop it for you love, you're my top priority. Can you promise to come to me when you feel like doing it?" he asked as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "O-okay Jamie, I promise" you whispered and buried your face back into his chest.

He laid down and held you tight in his arms, rubbing your back and kissing your he'd softly. "You must be tired baby, go to sleep" he said stroking your hair. "Thank you Jamie, for looking out for me" "Of course baby, I'm here now, you're not alone anymore. I love you" He looked down and saw you had already fallen asleep on his chest. He held your wrist up to his lips and kissed it gently, meaning every single word he just said as determined to fill you with happiness again.