A Glimpse Into My Brain

I Stopped

TW: physical violence and self harm

I used to hurt people physically
Used to punch people
My parents never understood why I did it

My mum asked one day
I lied
I told her I didn't know
Then I went in my room and cried
I had finally figured out why I did it
Punching was my form of spanking

I knew I wasn't allowed to spank people
So I punched them instead
That was the day I stopped doing it
My dad taught me violence was how you're supposed to deal with anger
And I never want to be like him

So I stopped
I couldn't let myself turn out like he did
I would make sure of it
So from that day forward I just bottled my anger
Kept it in little jars until I could take it out on myself

It's safer that way
I'm safer that way
I can't turn out like him
And if hurting myself is what it'll take
So be it

(8/6/21)