A Glimpse Into My Brain

Progression

CW: talk of cancer

Her cancer has progressed
It's been progressing
She keeps getting into smaller and smaller percentages medically
She's not as bad as the first year

We don't know what's going on
In hells name, not even the doctors know what's going on
They don't know what's happening
Or why she's not getting better
Well, better cancer wise
Since her new medications she's been getting better in non-cancer terms
I haven't even told anyone about the cancer in her lungs
How can I tell them about this?
She's supposed to be getting better
It's been four and a half fucking years!
Why does this keep happening?

I'm tired
She's tired
She's frustrated
Why can't she just get better already
How much longer is this going to go on for?
How long will it be before something bad happens
What if she gets as bad as she was the first year?
Would she even survive that?
We almost lost her a couple times that year
What would happen if that happened again?
Not even her doctors can answer those questions

(23/7/21)