A Glimpse Into My Brain

Credits Shouldn't Equal Life

Why is it credits that determine our lives?
A certain number of credits made in highschool that determine if we can graduate
What the fuck school

There are kids who can't do that!
There are kids with learning disabilities that make it difficult for them to get those credits
There are kids with physical disabilities who can't always make it into school

And don't get me started on 'perfect attendance awards'
Those are ableist as fuck!
So many kids have mental and/or physical disabilities
Those impact how often kids can go to school!
And besides, kids get sick!

The school system as a whole is made for able-bodied neurotypical people
Hardly any room for anyone with any disability and it's sickening
No one should have to worry about losing a credit because they are physically and/or mentally unable to keep up with the class

I'm tired of this bullshit!
A number of credits should not be what determines our lives
The amount of days we can make it to school should not be a fucking contest
It's exhausting knowing I have to live up to these expectations
When I know I can't!

Trust me, I want to
Hell, I've sacrificed my physical and mental well being so many times to get an assignment done
And it's still. Not. Enough!
Because my best is less than what the school system deems my best

Because the school system thinks my best should be coming to school everyday
Getting everything in on time
Not caring if I have enough energy to do it
Doing everything perfectly

And it's funny
Because the teachers that say they want the best for you
Are the same ones that fuck with any kid that doesn't meet their expectations
They are the ones that set goals a lot of kids, disabled or not, can't reach

And I'm tired of being held on a pedestal
Because to get a 70-80% average I have to sacrifice so much
I have had to choose between a good nights sleep and getting my homework done
I have had to force myself out of bed every morning because I am in so much pain
I have had so many panic attacks just looking at what I have to do for school
No one should feel like that!

No one should have to pick between their health and a fucking grade
No one should feel like their mark on a test determines how smart they are
The school system is fucked up
The school system is ableist
And I'm fucking sick of it

(9/12/20)