A Glimpse Into My Brain

Before

TW: self harm, suicidal thoughts, and mentions of death

Before she died I wanted to stop
Stop cutting
Stop burning
Stop hurting myself

Before she died I wanted to find reasons to stay alive

But that was before she died
Now I'm re-addicted
Now I enjoy the sight of blood
I enjoy looking at new cuts
And bumping against something and feeling pain

I do have reasons to stay alive
I live for other people
Not myself
If I lived for myself I'd have been dead a long time ago

(13/5/21)