A Glimpse Into My Brain

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry if I'm not your idea of perfect
I'm sorry I'm different
I'm sorry I can't be what you wanted me to be
I'm sorry you can't even look at me anymore

I'm sorry that you can no longer see the good in me
I'm sorry that all you see are problems
I'm sorry you can't see me as the person I used to be
I'm sorry that I've changed
I'm sorry my life isn't under your control

But I'm not sorry for being me
I'm not sorry for telling you
I'm not sorry for embracing my differences
I'm not sorry that you left
I'm not sorry that I'm not your idea of perfect

I'm not sorry for wanting to live my life
I'm not sorry for who I've turned out to be
Yes I'm different
Yes I have my ups and downs
Yes I am not what you expected
Yes I am not who you expected me to be

But I love the way I've turned out
I love all the things you told me are wrong
I love all the things I can do
I love the way my eyes change colour
I love all the things you tell me I shouldn't
I love all the things you deem "wrong" and "unnatural"

I love who I am
I love who I am becoming
I will love who I turn out to be
And even though you tell me nobody will ever be able to love me,
I know you're wrong

I know my worth is not defined by you
I know my life is mine to control
I know I am in charge of my body
I know I am perfectly imperfect

And that's the beauty
Nobody is perfect
Everybody has their imperfections
And those are the things I will learn to love
Those are the things that make me beautiful, inside and out

I won't listen to you any longer
I know you are wrong
I know you are just insecure
Maybe one day I'll find common ground with you
But until then I will not listen to you
Yes I care but that doesn't mean I don't love myself

I love myself
If you can't love me with my imperfections
Then I don't want you to love me at all

(6/3/20)