A Glimpse Into My Brain

My Own Mortality

TW: talk of death/dying

My perception of my own mortality is weird

Sometimes I'm hyper aware that one move
One foot placed a centimeter or less wrong
One second that I don't process something fast enough
One slip could be my death
I could crack my head open or fall down a cliff
I could drown or be murdered in the street
I could die at any moment

But then there are other times
Times where I feel like even if I place my foot a meter in the wrong direction
I'd be ok
I wouldn't die
I wouldn't get hurt
Times where I feel almost immortal

So I have two settings
Hyper aware of every move I make so that my family won't see me die
Or feeling immortal and like I can survive anything
Mortality is weird
Any my way of processing it doesn't help

(22/7/21)