A Glimpse Into My Brain

Mature For Your Age

TW: abuse?

Growing up was supposed to be fun
It was supposed to be exciting
Right?

We were meant to have fun
And mature together
Maybe differently
But still together

Until I realized most people aren't this type of mature
The type of mature that makes you sick
The type of mature that you only get when you have to grow up to quick

Like a slap to the face
Or a punch in the gut
Or even a grabbing of your wrist and dragging you away from childhood

Or maybe you only get it if you grow up in a house where chaos is normal
Where fighting,
And yelling,
And grabbing,
And spanking,
Were part of the norm

And the real problem is
You don't know that others don't have this
You think that fear is normal
You don't know that it's not

You don't know that it's not normal to be scared of the people you love
You don't know it's not normal to walk on eggshells around those who say they care
You don't understand how other people aren't scared of their parents all the time

You don't get it
This is supposed to be normal
This has to be normal...
Right?

But if not that means...
That means something went wrong
With me
It's my fault
It has to be...
It has to be
Right?

(7/5/21)