A Glimpse Into My Brain

Secrets

TW: implied self harm

Sometimes I wonder how I've managed to keep it all secret
To be fair, some people know
But that's because I've told them
Not because they figured it out
That's not a knock at them in any way
I'm glad I got to tell them before they figured it out

But I've gotten good at pretending that everything is ok
That I'm fine
That it's nothing
That I can breathe properly
That anxiety isn't making it nearly impossible
That I'm no longer wearing certain clothes just because I don't like them
And not because I have secrets written on my skin
Not because I have so many scars there's no way I would be able to convincingly lie

I'm glad most people don't know
They'd hate me for the things I've done to cause this
They'd tell me I'm making up what happened to me
Because they're good
And I'm bad
And it's my fault I'm like this

(25/6/21)