Guilt

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TW: suicidal thoughts

I don't want to hurt them
I guess that's why I haven't done it yet
My friends are more like family than my actual family

Maybe it makes me mean to say that
I don't care right now though
Usually I feel guilty saying it
They've done what they can

It's mostly him that's hurt me
He doesn't know it
He never will
The only way he would know is by reading my letters to him
And the only way he'll do that is if I'm dead
And at that point I won't be able to feel guilt anymore

(17/5/21)

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