A Glimpse Into My Brain

A Letter To Our Fucking Society

Hi,
My name is Nix
Yes an odd name I'm sure
Not one you seem to want
In this world of fucked up rules

My pronouns are he/him and ze/zim
Both not 'normal' to you
So it seems
And I don't really get that
So I'll ask why?

Why are the words that make me comfortable the ones that you don't like?
And why is my identity put up for debate?
Why should I have to be called something that hurts me because you don't like the alternative?

You see,
I was taught to question this world
I was taught to be myself
And I'll admit not in all forms
But enough so that I could find words for how I felt

So because of all that I'm stuck
I was taught to be myself but only in ways my parents liked
And if I crossed that line I was punished
I'm lucky that one part of me they didn't object to very much is my gender

You see, the reason you don't like my pronouns
Is because these aren't the ones I have been called my whole life
These aren't the pronouns you expected when I was born

When the doctor said, "it's a girl!"
You assumed that meant I would use she/her
Your first mistake was assuming that the sex I was assigned at birth
Would fit me for all my life

As you have already pointed out to me on multiple occasions
I am transgender
And, unsurprisingly, you don't like that

See,
This society has gotten better in terms of acceptance
But I cannot rest until I know that no kid will be told,
"It's just a phase
You'll change your mind
I'll never see you as *insert gender here*
I'll always see you as *deadname*
You'll always be my *insert birth sex and gendered relation to person here*"

So society,
Thank you for improving
And getting better in the modern world
But fuck you for not being kind to people like me
Fuck you for not being kind to people completely different from me
Fuck you and I intend to fix you in anyway I can

Sincerely,
Nix

(17/4/21)