A Glimpse Into My Brain

Break

TW: suicidal thoughts & self harm

I feel like I'm broken
I think I know why
I break myself apart for other people
To keep up this facade of a happy, good person
I don't think I can stop breaking myself
It's ingrained in me
Be the person they want me to be

They want me to be confidant
So I don't tell them I'm self conscious
They want me to be happy
So I don't tell them I feel like breaking down
They don't want me to be in pain
So I pretend it's not as bad as it is
They want me to be a good person
So I pretend my mind isn't as dark as it is
They want me to be safe
So I don't tell them my thoughts
They want me to be safe
So I don't tell them I want to die
They want me to be safe
So I don't tell them about my cuts
They want me to be pretty
So I don't tell them about my scars
They want me to be sane
So I don't tell them about the voices

They want me to be me
That's what they tell me
But if I was myself they would leave
They wouldn't like the person I am
So I'll continue breaking myself apart until I can fit their mold

(24/5/21)