Chapter 76

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Chapter 76

Turning in the circle of Eddie's arms I rested my ear on his chest allowing the calming sound of his heartbeat to give me the energy to continue. "Was trying to wash that horrible shit off of our clothes..but the water from that spigot is cold as fuck and unfortunately it dug out some trauma from my childhood, shit I never asked to remember."

Dustins eyes widened as Red spoke, he remembered something she'd briefly mentioned about trauma but he figured that was like the car accidents and things like that, or maybe bullying. But the more she said the less that seemed likely.

"Not going to dive into great detail..feel like a raw nerve right now.. but to make a long story short my birth mother went crazy from the hormones of having me and between that and me being autistic and having ADHD."

Sighing heavily I paused to explain knowing I was adding more confusion than anything else. "those are neurological disorders I was born with..which I know you probably don't know what those are cause autism is currently called Asperger's thanks to a racist German asshole and ADHD is barely a thing yet but the easiest explanation I've got for you right now is that they mean my brain doesn't make enough serotonin and dopamine and they made me a difficult child.."

Eddie nearly growled, his heart clenching when Red all but blamed herself by calling herself a 'difficult child' knowing damn well there wasn't any excuse for the horrible things that woman had done to her. His arms tightened around her as he shook his head fervently, "you weren't difficult.."

My lips curled into a soft smile as I nodded, now that Eddie knew even a hint of the pain I'd dealt with at the hands of my birth mother I knew he wasn't going to let me blame myself anymore. "..not difficult but...different" I amended, smirking when he kissed my hair clearly approving as I continued my story.

"...so that combined with a mentally unstable mom..I was abused a lot..and one of the parts of that abuse involves scrubbing a shower under ice cold water with no soap when I was like 3 or 4 for hours on end..the damn cold water from spigot triggered that memory and kinda fucked me up.."

I would've thought I'd be numb to this by now after Vecna went digging through every bit of trauma and left me to watch them for what felt like an eternity. But trauma's funny like that and tears still fell idly down my face, pretty sure I'd be dehydrated before long.

Dustin watched eyes wide as Red spoke, his heart clenching seeing the tears and pain in her eyes, the horror of what was clearly a tiny portion of a terrible story that she had to endure reflected in them. He didn't know what he could possibly say that could help or be enough, "damn..Dungeon Mama..Red...I'm..so fucking sorry.."

I nodded reaching out detangling an arm from the blankets and patted Dustin's knee. "Thank you..I know it's a lot for anyone to process...wouldn't dump it on you but I don't like the idea of lying to you."

Unsure what to say he squeezed her hand his mind still racing as he tried to process what she'd told him. Sounds of movement in the hallway and living room reminded him of what else had happened, the Vecna attack. Fidgeting with his hair he sighed before asking, "..Red you can tell me anything..." his eyes hopeful as he waited.

Knowing full well that the mess that Vecna had dropped me in, the trauma it had stirred up was too much for me to process let alone Dustin or even Eddie for that matter..fuck how do I tell them something that I had up til now forgotten was agonizing, something that was now stabbing me in my very soul. Shaking my head I spoke "..alright fuck..guess I should tell you about what happened with the Vecna attack...I'm not going into detail right now...I've barely dealt with it."

Eddie's arms tightened around me protectively as I began to describe where I'd been before he'd found and rescued me. "...so yea it was definitely Vecna.. but it wasn't like any of the attacks I've had or the ones I saw on the show before I got here. Honestly it felt like he planned to keep me there..it was like The Void but different, more empty well... aside from the trauma. It was every painful moment I've ever experienced on a playlist, while I was forced to watch, I felt myself getting weaker and more exhausted.. like he was feeding off of me. I don't know if it was so he could take down the barrier or if it was so he could recharge himself by sucking me dry after we killed so many of his creatures yesterday..."

Taking a shaking breath I squeezed Dustin's hand once more before pulling my own back under the covers with the rest of me, curling myself into a tighter ball where I laid on Eddie, clinging to his warmth. The guilt of being used against my friends combined with the flashbacks of trauma had worn down my already exhausted mind. It was too fucking much.

Feeling the way Red had tensed up and started to shut down as she described the horror she'd been through Eddie's heart crumbled. He'd felt a bit of what she'd felt and seen when he'd found and pulled her out but that was different than hearing her describe it. She'd started shivering violently where she laid on him and he cursed pulling the blankets closer and wrapped her tighter in his arms. "I'm here Red..you're safe here with me...never gonna let that fucking bastard hurt you again...we'll take him out together...all of us."

He hated the words as they left his mouth, they felt like empty promises even as much as he meant them, he felt utterly powerless. Looking down to kiss her hair his eyes caught on her star that she'd given him, the pentacles shining in the dim light where it sat on his chest and he remembered what she'd told him the last time he'd doubted if he was enough.

*the memory*

"Jin and I fell in love with you Eddie Munson exactly as you are, nobody else. Be that person, the husband we chose and stand by my side. The only way you could fail or disappoint either of us is if you aren't your damn self."

*end of memory*

Nodding as her words echoed in his ears he pulled her even closer in his arms and kissed her forehead even as she burrowed closer seemingly trying to escape everything in the warmth of his arms. He managed a soft smile as he stroked her hair and she arched eagerly into his touch. He loved knowing that no matter what she still welcomed his touch and his comfort even as burnt out and hurt as she felt.

Seeing the two of them closing off and clinging to one another to recover from their ordeal, Dustin got up to leave shutting the door silently behind him. He'd heard Eddie's desperate promise to keep her safe and nodded silently, wanting nothing more than to do the same. It was bad enough he felt like he'd failed the day Eddie had nearly been killed by the demobats and Red had narrowly saved him and again when Max had fallen into the coma.

He couldn't believe the level of darkness she'd had to suffer especially after the day that they'd both narrowly survived. Dustin knew that if Red had trauma worse than what she'd told him..he didn't want to even try to imagine it, he didn't think his heart could take the thought of her suffering that way.

A plan formed in his head of what he could do for his dungeon parents, anything to try and ease the painful darkness they were trapped in. He knew and had agreed to the plan of a D&D game but that wasn't something anyone could handle right now. The entire house was filled with exhausted people considering the explosions had happened barely a few hours after everyone had fallen asleep.

Remembering the still somewhat unexplored crawlspace below the cabin he decided a second look was needed; there had to be something inside that would help, something they might've missed. Opening the panel at the end of the hallway that led to the crawlspace he headed down the small steps before hunching in on himself as he shone his flashlight around hopeful.

His jaw dropped as he spotted what had to be a miracle. Crawling on hands and knees he reached out and grabbed the case and dragged it towards the door before making his slow way up the steps and placing it in the hallway. He really hoped it wasn't just the case as he worked to try and open it, It took a fair bit of effort to open the snaps but when he did he opened the lid and his heart skipped a beat. If anything would help both Red and Eddie, this definitely would..hell it would help the others too. Closing the case once more he hefted it in his arms and walked over to the room his adoptive parents shared.

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