Nine Deaths Part 1- Macaw (Hosts)

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Shore: My apologizes, buuuuut,

Shore: *slaps Ander*

Ander: Why-

Shore: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US ABOUT WILLOW?!?!?!

Permafrost: *sobbing*

Permafrost: MY SHIPPPP!!!!!

Ember: *cries with her*

Haze: Welp, just another reason to massacre the entire Scorpion Den. *sharpens knife*

*players appear*

Joy: And this is why I like Haze.

Air: Hey, long time no see you guys!

Rainkeeper: Ha ha, you never get to host.

Permafrost: well that's about to change.

Kelp: Oh yeah? How?

Haze: We're here for the next FIVE DARES, SO HA!

Joy: Damn, that means I have to behave for the next five fcking dares.

Hosts: *gasp and cover their ears*

Joy: What the hell's the matter with you guys? Oh, shit! 

Hosts: *cover their ears*

Joy: You guys are kids! Gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards. 

Hosts: *cover their ears and gasp again*

Joy: I'm sorry. Shoot. Gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards.

Nightflyer: Did..... Did you just make a AVPM reference?

Joy: Well.... technically it was AVPS....

Nightflyer: THANK YOU.

Air: Where have you been all my life?

Nightflyer: In a cupboard, under some stairs!

Shore: Oh here we go.

Ember: Every time we're here, the references practically triple.

Joy: AND FROM THAT DAY ON, i PICKED UP ANYTHING I COULD FIND AND I HOISTED IT OVER MY HEAD AND I ATE NOTHING BUT PROTEIN SHAKES, FALCON EGGS, AND ROCKS!

Nightflyer: *laughing uncontrollably from references to A Very Potter Sequel*

Haze: Can we get to the dare now?

Air: Well the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not going to do that.

Ander: But Joy gets to kill the cat version of Macaw nine times.

Joy: Okay, wait, that actually sounds fun, let's do that.

Ander: *snaps talons*

*cat version of Macaw appears*

Rainkeeper: So, how are you going to kill him?

Joy: Hmmmm,

Nightflyer: And don't suggest a giant slide or a trampoline, because we've already tried those.

Joy: I know!

Joy: I'mm turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea inside of a box, and then I'll put that box inside a bigger box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives at my door, I'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

Joy: Or, to save on postage, we could just poison him.

Joy: Eh, I liked the giant hammer too much.

Joy: *smashes Macaw with a hammer and kills him*

Ander: *snaps talons*

Macaw: *respawns*

Macaw: Me-OW!!!!!

Joy: Haha. *shoots him*

Macaw: *splatters all over white patio furniture*

Joy: *sighs* I'll get the hose.

Joy: *hoses off furniture*

Rainkeeper: *didn't see the cat explode*

Rainkeeper: Thanks for cleaning the furniture!

Joy: Uh...... sure....

Macaw: *respawns*

Joy: *kills him with an ax*

Nightflyer: You think killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. It just makes people dead. 

Macaw: *respawns*

Macaw: When I grow up, I want to go to the moon!

Joy: WHY WAIT? *dropkicks Macaw into outer space*

Macaw: *dies of lack of oxygen*

Macaw: *respawns*

Joy: Have at it, Squad.

Squad: *murders Macaw*

Macaw: *respawns*

Joy: *puts Macaw on a table*

Joy: *puts gun on other side of the table*

Macaw: *dies*

Macaw: *respawns*

Joy: *raises chainsaw*

Joy: How many kills do I have left?

Shore: Uuuhhhhhhh

Haze: Three.

Joy: Make it two. *kills him with the chainsaw*

Ander: So did you guys finish season 3 of Stranger Things yet-

Seashell: YES AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Ander: But-

Seashell: NOT. GOING. TO. TALK. ABOUT. IT.

Permafrost: But my ships-

Seashell: SHUT UP.

Joy: *runs Macaw over with a car*

Macaw: *dies and respawns*

Nightflyer: You know what we should do? We should go over there and SHAVE THE CAT.

Joy: Yes, let's do it! Let's shave the cat!

Joy: *pulls out a straight razor and kills cat Macaw*

Air: AH!

Rainkeeper: Peter you killed it!

Joy: Would you guys relax, he's got eight more lives.

Joy: *keeps killing Macaw*

Joy: Okay, seven more lives.

Joy: Six.

Joy: Five.

Joy: Four.

Joy: Three.

Rainkeeper: Peter, stop doing what you're doing.

Joy: Fine, I'm out of chances anyways.

Shore: That was.... disturbing.

Ember: I wonder what Nightflyer will do with this dare next time.

Nightflyer: No idea. But for now.....

Nightflyer: I GOTTA GET BACK TO HOGWARTS.

Air: GOTTA GET BACK TO SCHOOOOLLLL

All: GOTTA GET BACK TO HOGWARTS, WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M COOOOOLLLL!

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