STAY THE HELL AWAY (Hosts)

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Permafrost: So school is online, so we all have to stay home now, right?

Ember: Yeah, whatcha gonna do?

Shore: Whatcha gonna do when they come for you, bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do- whatcha gonna do when they-

Ander: No.

Haze: Ander? Any plans for quartatine?

Ander: I'm going to tie a scarf around my neck like a fancy french woman and dance until dawn.

Permafrost: That....actually sounds amazing. Shore?

Shore: I'm going to eat candy until I can feel my teeth rotting.

Haze:......Classy.

*players appear*

Air: DOES ANYONE HAVE A DEVICE ON WHICH I CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC?

Nightflyer: Air, no-

Shore: I have an iPod-

Air: *tackles him, steals iPod, plays "Fare Thee Well" by Louden Swain*

Nightflyer: *tackles Air, pauses song, smashes iPod*

Shore: Oh. Okay then.

Air: *loud screaming*

Nightflyer: She's addicted to Louden Swain, and it's getting out of hand.

Air: NO IT'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Rainkeeper: Yes it is.

Nightflyer: SEE, EVEN RAINKEEPER AGREES

Air: *groans* WHY DO YOU HATE MY TASTE IN MUSIC?

Nightflyer: I don't hate your taste in music, it's just that if I have to listen to Fare Thee Well one more time, I'm going to break something.

Haze: Well luckily for you, no one's singing Louden Swain today.

Kelp: What are we singing?

Joy: *gasps* QUEEN?

Shore: No.

Joy: DAM.

Kelp: But I wanted to sing Bicycle and hit somebody on a bicycle with a Bentley.

Joy: We'll do that tomorrow.

Kelp: YAY!

Kelp: And then we'll fix the velocipede and give her a ride back to Tadfield.

Joy: It's a bicycle. Just say bicycle. Get in, angel.

Nightflyer: We've been rewatching Good Omens, if you couldn't tell.

Air: He had wonderful little toesie wosies.

Ander: *rolls eyes and snaps talons*

*Macaw and Faithbringer*

Nightflyer: NO.

Faithbringer: Hiiiiiiiiii

Nightflyer: *loud screaming*

Macaw: Hello lovely.

Joy: Shut up or I'll tear off your nipples and shove them up your nose.

Macaw: But-

Joy: *runs over, rips out his teeth, shoves them up his nose*

Macaw: I though you said-

Joy: I changed my mind!

Rainkeeper: There is no rhyme or reason to what I do. I just do. A skiddly boo. OH! Maybe there is a rhyme!

Ander: Settle down there, Joan side.

Permafrost: We need Joy and Nightflyer to sing "Keep your Secrets" by Artists Vs. Poet to Macaw and Faithbringer.

Joy: While killing them?

Haze: Unfortunately, no.

Joy: DAM IT!

Air: Janet!

Macaw/Faithbirnger: *gasp*

Faithbringer: Oh, I've always wanted the love of my life to sing to me, isn't that so romantic?

Macaw: *sits back* Go on, lovely Joy, serenade me!

Joy:.....KILL YOURSELF-

Rainkeeper: JOY!

Kelp: No no, she's got a point here.

Ember: *clicks play on boombox*

Nightflyer: She's an uptown drama queen
Always up on the latest talk
Whether it involves her or not and
She's a train wreck, movie scene
In a box office flop
She never knows when to stop
And when you bat those eyes
To cover up your lies
I've been trying and trying
To forget it all
Like a song I can't get out of my head
So you can just

Nightflyer: Stay the hell away
Oh cause you know I'm onto you
Stay the hell away
Oh you know you gotta
You know you really gotta
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from

Joy: And I know you girl better than the back of my hand
And I swear I'm done covering your tracks
Don't want you coming back
Don't want you coming back
And when you bat those eyes
To cover up your lies
I've been trying and trying
To forget it all
Like a song I can't get out of my head
So you can just


Joy: Stay the hell away
Oh cause you know I'm onto you
Stay the hell away
Oh you know you gotta
You know you really gotta
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from


Joy/Nightflyer: Stay away, stay away, stay away, stay away
Stay away, stay away, stay the hell away
Stay the hell away
Oh cause you know I'm onto you
Stay the hell away
Oh you know you gotta
You know you really gotta
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from me now
Keep your secrets, keep, keep your secrets from

Joy/Nightflyer: STAY THE HELL AWAY!!!


Macaw: Alright... well... I know when I'm not wanted.

Joy:.....NO. YOU DON'T. 

Kelp: THAT'S LIKE A DEFINING ASPECT OF YOUR PERSONALITY.

Macaw: That's not true!

Joy: THEN MAKE LIKE A TREE,

Joy: AND GET THE FUCK OUT.

Macaw: No.

Kelp: WHY?

Macaw: Because you were rude.

Faithbringer: and that song wasn't nice AT LOT, Nighty. I want a different one. 

Faithbringer: Sing me a Justin Beiber song.

All: *gasp in horror*

Ander: Release the hounds.

Air: *releases hellhounds*

Macaw/Faithbringer: *run out screaming*

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Macaw/Faithbringer: *run out screaming*

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