Can't Be Prepared (J.W.)

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Seashell: Well it's official. New year, NEW ME!

Air: New Year, same me. I made a supernatural reference a minute before it became 2020.

Nightflyer: New year, new me! I'm switching from Harry Potter trash to COMPLETE STARKID TRASH BECAUSE DAMMIT I LOVE THEM.

Joy: New year, Same me because I'm perfect and don't need to change.

*players appear*

Winter: NO!!!

Rainkeeper: Relax Winter, we're not solely torturing you today.

Winter: So...I'm not alone in the dare?

Joy: Nope.

Winter: *grabs Qibli and Moon*

Winter: I WON'T LET YOU HURT THEM ANYMORE!

Kelp: What, was your New Year's Resolution to be nicer or something?

Qibli: Um..... Not quite.

Moon: We think whatever you did to make him a girl is starting to throw his hormones out of whack.

Qibli: He's got weird mood swings now.

Winter: *crying*

Winter: I JUST REALLY DON'T LIKE SEEING THEM HURT, OKAY?

Air: That's ok-

Winter: SHUT UP!!!!

Air: *stumbles back*

Nightflyer: *growls*

Carnelian: Can we get on with the dare? Some of us have things to do, people to see-

Amber: Things to see, people to do-

Turtle: We're all very busy.

Joy: With WHAT. This game is your life.

Amber: Yeah but I have to go explain to the Drag Queen Society or Pyrrhia that I'm technically no longer a drag queen because I'm actually a girl.

Rainkeeper: Yeah, okay that makes sense.

Joy: But that can wait til later because right now.....

Seashell: YOU'RE ALL GONNA SING BE PREPARED FROM THE LION KING, WHICH I'M ABOUT 87% POSITIVE WE HAVEN'T DONE BEFORE.

Players:........

Kinkajou: What's the Lion King?

Seashell:......Oh my sweet summer child....

Joy: Oh, if y'all ever want something funny, say Kinkajou's name to people who've never read Wings of Fire. The reaction is hilarious.

Nightflyer: According to that, people think it's a kink version of Pikachu or something.

Seashell: EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEY'VE NEVER SEEN THE LION KING AND THEY NEED TO BE EDUMACATED RIGHT NOW.

Air: Oooooo yes! They have to meet Rafiki!!!! He's the best!!!!

Rainkeeper: Live Action or Original?

Seashell: ORIGINAL BECAUSE THE LIVE ACTION WAS OKAY, BUT THE ORIGINAL WAS FUNNIER.

Nightflyer: The- The LION KING. THE SADDEST DISNEY MOVIE SINCE BAMBI- AND YOU SAY IT'S FUNNY

Seashell: *clicks play*

Seashell: Yes.

*One movie later*

All but Carnelian: *crying over Mufasa*

Amber: HOW ARE YOU NOT CRYING?!?!

Carnelian: I don't cry.

Amber: NEITHER DOES JOY, AND SHE'S BAWLING!

Joy: HE WAS JUST TRYING TO SAVE HIS SON OKAY, HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE FOR THAT! 

Kelp: *passes her the tissues*

Turtle: EVEN WINTER'S CRYING!

Winter: *wiping tears away*

Winter: Nobody tell my family about this shit, okay?

Qibli: So don't text them....Got it....

Winter: QIBLI!

Rainkeeper: And now that you all know the song.... *clicks music on*

Players: *start singing*

Winter: I never thought hyenas essential
They're crude and unspeakably plain

Carnelian: But maybe they've a glimmer of potential

Moon: If allied to my vision and brain

Qibli: I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside


Moon: But thick as you are, pay attention *slaps Winter on the back of the head*

Winter: My words are a matter of pride

Turtle: It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs

Kinkajou: But we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares


Amber: So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news


Moon: A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer


Qibli: And where do we feature?

Turtle: Just listen to teacher

Amber: I know it sounds sordid

Winter: But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues


Carnelian: And injustice deliciously squared

All: Be prepared!
It's great that we'll soon be connected
With a king who'll be all-time adored

Kinkajou: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board


Amber: The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee


Winter: The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a sniff without me!


Amber: So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the murkiest scam

Carnelian: Meticulous planning
Tenacity spanning

Moon: Decades of denial
Is simply why I'll


Qibli: Be king undisputed
Respected, saluted

Winter: And seen for the wonder I am

All: Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!
Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!


Hosts: *cheers*

Rainkeeper: The perfect song to start a new year of T or D, really, since everybody better be prepared for the chaos that will unfold.

Joy: And also because this is probably the year the Disney corporation buys the rest of the world.

Kinkajou: At this point, I don't think we can be prepared for anything.

Qibli: So true.

Kelp: I think Be Prepared is my favorite villain song.

Joy: Mine is Friends on the Other Side.

Rainkeeper: Poor Unfortunate Souls

Nightflyer: Mother Knows Best. Mother Gothel was the most realistic and disturbing villain besides the hunter that killed Bambi's mom.

Joy: He's the only successful Disney Villain, really.

Air: OH! We should have them sing all the Disney villain songs!!

JW: NO.

Hosts: YES!

Turtle: *snaps talons and turns into a cow*

Turtle: Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?

Joy: You're excused.

Turtle: *runs away*

Kinkajou: Dammit Turtle TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!



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