Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by Fawn: The Variant Killer

Title: The Variant Killer

Author: Thomas-San16

Reviewer: FawnIAtlas

Cover: 

Your cover is a bit of a mismatch if I'm being honest. There's good pieces in there stuck together in an unappealing way. The original work is a nice touch with the characters as it gives a little more unique flair however they do not match with the background whatsoever so it makes the theme unclear as why the art styles are so different.

I would avoid putting the characters on the cover to keep the mystery and to allow the readers to find their own path in your novel.

The picture doesn't fit the guidelines so that must be fixed. Also the writing is hardly clear making it more unlikely for the book to be more than glanced at.

Summary: 

Honestly there are slight mistakes in the summary such as "worse" instead of "worst" that over time will be corrected but your summary is the preface, the thing everyone will see before reading/your novel if they are met with unprofessional writing your chances of getting reads are slim to none.

I'm just going to draft up one to give you an idea.

"In our time, many changes have occurred; the Variants being the worst yet."

Four years ago, beings that appeared humanlike walked out from the shadows and stood to protect the land they walked on. These, were the Variants. Over time, their population grew and spread globally. However, as the variants came, so did the activists.

When famous activists start turning up dead, Maxine wishes to escape her life in the café to get away from everything. And when she crosses the path of the most famous Variant team, she'll get just that.

But at what price?

I used a combo of language techniques and grammar to make the text more exciting and to help it flow easier. I changed up some of the wording but all in all it's the same piece of work just spiced up.

Writing Style: 

Your style of writing is, as your summary showed, doesn't flow as well as it should. The big chunks of text really block up the page. Spacing those out would make the information easier to swallow.

The sentences should flow into one another, so try using some commas and semicolons instead of always using full stops.

Originality: 

I really like the concept, it gives me avengers vibes where meta humans protect civilisation and feels based off of this with s personal twist. Obviously tropes of superheroes will go on in history and the opportunity fades to create and absolutely originalconcept, however you've found something you like and made it into a novel so well done.

Creatures: 

I like the variants, as I've said I like the avengers as meta humans are really interesting to me and have always been an exciting concept. I would've liked to see more information on them, some personal history maybe. And a clear show of if there are rankingsor their specific powers and how they acquire them.