Review by JJ: Stranger Things

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Title: Stranger Things

Author: KioshiKitten

Reviewer: Jumping_Jiminys


Cover: 5/5

Yu-gi-oh fanfic? That was obvious when I saw the merman character.


Summary: 5/5

"Akai-- a gifted diver..."

You clearly showed the reader that there may be two different plots running at the same time, and those are my favourite kinds.


Spelling, Vocabulary + Grammar: 7/15

Comma needed "So, Akai, found anything interesting lately," (Who-What are you)

Missing full stop "...I gave him a warm smile responding with." (Who-What are you)

Missing full stop "Everything's fine." (Who-What are you)

"I grabbed my mask pulling IT over my face..." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "Hello." (Who-What are you)

New paragraph for dialogue "Hello," I said..." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "How are you able to stay underwater for so long?" (Who-What are you)

New paragraph for dialogue "M-my scuba gear," (Who-What are you)

"...or rather SOMEONE GRAB my tail." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "Your father's going to be very upset." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "COme in." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "...going to the Crystal Empire." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "...stay away from the humans." (Who-What are you)

Missing closing punctuation "...where they sleep at night."

Missing closing punctuation "Akai, wake up." (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "Come on Akai, get ready." " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "You forgot didn't you?" " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "I'm taking you to my office today."

Missing closing punctuation "Akai, slow down." " (Will we meet again?)

"Are you crazy! I don't want you to be late 'cause of me."

Missing closing punctuation "So gramps have you guys ever caught one of these before?" " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "No, unfortunately, we haven't gotten another reading since last week." " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "...it won't happen again." " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "...give him another chance please."

Missing closing punctuation "...but do not touch anything." " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "You're not supposed to be in here." " (Will we meet again?)

Missing closing punctuation "Just leave." " (Will we meet again?)

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