Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by Sinhoe: The Days

Title: The Days

Author: walkingecho

Reviewer: bangtanforever355

Summary: 3.5/5

Your summary was fine, but the paragraph you've used from your book was a bit confusing for me - at least the narrative part.

Tip: Cut the narrative part and only keep the dialogue. It will make it more intriguing. Also if you give just a tad bit of a hint about why Amelia has to choose between her friends and her lover, it would be more interesting. (It's just suggestion though).

Character Building: 3.5/5

THIS PART CONTAINS SPOILERS.

I was so going to give you a 5 if Maria was your protagonist!

Amelia, your actual protagonist, didn't get as much screening as the others; like she don't have much to her character. See, Maria is an athlete who has a crush on the coach and has a boyfriend, Everett, and things, Allie is a cheerful girl with things going on with Jefferson, Bella is Bella. But Amelia is always shown in as a simple girl with a crush on the hot guy. Amelia doesn't really seems less like the protagonist and more like a side kick. Same goes for Cameron and Everett.

Tip: Try giving more screening to Amelia, maybe put the exam scene in the start of the second chapter, rather than the gym scene? Or try revealing Maria in chapter 3 or 4?

Otherwise I loved all the characters personalities especially Jefferson's.

Writing Style: 4.5/5

Your writing style was great! It was basic, yet inventive. I liked it.

But there were some places I got confused like:

In chapter four maybe, what's the actual name of the teacher? Mr. Holden or Mr. Porter?

Also, maybe it's just me, but I found your dialogue a bit, well - I can't see the characters actually saying them in general. The dialogue doesn't seem very realistic, but again, maybe it's just me.

Plot + Originality: 4/5

The plot was somewhat cliché, like the girl having a crush over the hot Harry Styles looking guy, but it kept me going. Like, it's predictably unpredictable. Again this could be solved if you work on Amelia more. But overall, as much as I have read, I love the plot. 

THIS NEXT PART CONTAINS SPOILERS:

Another thing that bothered me a little was how Maria and her boyfriends call was dramatic? It wasn't big enough to have some personal space for yourself, and as much as I have see,n Maria doesn't seem like someone to cry easily, so it was a bit absurd.

Tip: Refine the phone call! Otherwise, everything's great.

OVERALL SCORE: 15.5/20

It's such an amazing book. I loved it - it reminded me of Pretty Little Liars. Just a little more refining, and it would honestly be a great book.