Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by Grey: A Hero's Will

Title: A Hero's Will 

Author: manny0101

Reviewer: Oya_Onigiri

Summary: [no score -- will not be added to final score]

So, I won't rate your summary as it only has one line and then what will be in the book.

Character Building: 1/5

I know you said Izuku would have OP powers and you changed his personality to a quiet and calm one, kinda like Todoroki, and maintained it, but that's where it ends.

You said Kacchan was a bully yet, if Deku got his quirk like Bakugo, then Bakugo won't have been praised like he was.

The main reason why Bakugo became a bully and thought that he was better than anyone else was because he was the only one where he grew that had a strong quirk. Bakugo won't be all that kindhearted but making him a good-for-nothing rival is not good.

Like, during the ground-beta training, Izuku said that he won't win if he keeps up with his selfish desires. Bakugo is selfish but he won't be that bad.

Also during the tournament arc, Izuku said Shinsho was acting bratty. He was not -- anyone in that situation would have.

Why would Todoroki say that he is stronger than Midoriya? He is an observant guy and he won't say it just to become like Endeavour.

During the battle royal, Uraraka would not leave Izuku behind. She was with him because he was all alone, she approached him, that's Uraraka. She won't leave him.

And Kendo joining? They are against each other. Class 1-A and 1-B have never met or talked before. Her coming because she pities him but Uraraka, his friend, left him?

Back to Shinsho, Izuku said Tōru got in but not him? Dude, you crushed the last bit of hope Shinsho had. Who do you even think he would become a hero now? You humiliated him in front of every hero whereas giving Tōru a plus point even though she did nothing.

And how did monoma even got where he did? His quirk is copy and Mina's is acid, he would have been burned even before he could do something. And where is Aoyama?

Izuku didn't motivate todoroki, he insulted him. Whether you like it or not that happened. "This is your power" had emotion, well, in the end, Izuku won and Todoroki learned nothing.

Again during the kidnapping, Izuku was kidnapped. Bakugo got a truckload of character development here.

And if Bakugo is a bully, why did he even come and save Izuku -- doesn't he wanna beat him? And Bakugo saying Izuku is kinda weird. He would never call him that.

See, harem is important, but like this, no male characters got any development.

Writing Style: 4/5

Your writing style is really good and you mentioned that there would be curses so it was fine but Izuku and all saying curse words?

Izuku won't say curse words, especially not if he is front of everyone. And All might?! He is the symbol of peace! He won't ever say that as he knows little children will see him and try copying him.

And Izuku saying Bakugo was having an orgasm because he was excited to fight? Kinda weird I would say. 

Plot + Originality: 4/5

The plot is not unique as OP Izuku has been used multiple times but this story changed his personality to any young boy with strong quirk powers, which was really good.

OVERALL SCORE: 9/15

Sorry if this was harsh as I love My Hero Academia and its characters, so not seeing them being developed made me a little sad -- especially Bakugo and Hitoshi.