Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by Cherylene: A King in Lipstick

Title: A King in Lipstick 

Author: inkfrommywrist

Reviewer: QuinerSacyLove

Summary: 3/5

The summary is short and sweet, which is a good thing. But the grammar and wording can be improved. For example, the space between boy and not a soul can be removed. Also, the dots after confide in should also be removed.

Grammar: 2/5

I will give some examples here too, so that you know where I am coming from.

"...Arthur's toenails, " He groaned in disgust.

First of all, the space between the comma and quotation mark is not needed. Secondly, since the dialogue ends with a comma, the first letter doesn't need to be capitalized.

... unblinking stare redirected itself...

Since it is the first instance of the stare moving, using the word directed would be better. 

Also, the repeated use of ellipsis doesn't look good. You don't want your characters to look like they are always fumbling for words. You can exchange it for dashes or use words instead.

Characterisation: [no score -- not added to final score]

I choose not to consider this for the final score, since there are only two chapters up currently. However, I must say that none of your characters are Mary Sues, which is good and important for a good novel.

Writing Style: [no score -- not added to final score]

Again, since only two chapters are up, I couldn't get a good taste of your writing style. So, I will not be including this too in the final score.

Plot + Originality: 5/5

I couldn't get enough of the plot, but the five marks are for originality. I have read very few books about someone who is transgender and the main character. You also managed it not looking forced for the sake of diversity. The plot is real, and is not cliche. I hope you continue with this book.

OVERALL SCORE: 10/15

Overall, not a bad score at all for a book with two chapters. If you ever want a review in the later stages, feel free to request.

Hope this review helped you.