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Review by Maryam: The Girl who Never Read the Letter

Title: The Girl who Never Read the Letter

Author: StarGazer110203

Reviewer: Marykhah77

Summary: 4.5/5

I love how you went straight to the point. You state the conflict, stakes, and character—which I feel is important. You give us the points, but you made it dramatic and enticing. Also, I like that you gave us some warnings; I can say I've accidentally read a few books that don't mention triggering content—and that's important to me.

The actual story behind the summary is very interesting. It's something I'm very passionate about, and I rarely see it on Wattpad. I'm glad you asked me to review this. 

The only problem I have with your summary is that it lacks a bit of depth. Give us a hint about the character. It's uncommon for me to give perfect scores; I tend to be very picky. Mention just a bit about Amaya. Describe her ever-so-lightly. 

Grammar: 2/5

I'll go ahead and say this: both your grammar and punctuation need some work. Don't worry, though—I'm covering that here.

Let's start with dialogue. 

To be able to write dialogue, you need to know what verbal tags are. These phrases come before or after a quotation mark, and they mark how a character say something. For example: she said, they asked, he told. When you put those after the quotation mark, be sure to not capitalize it. If you put it after a period then a quotation mark, make sure to replace that period with a comma. Here's what I mean: 

"I have heard they intensified their bitterness towards us." She told us.

The example above is incorrect. The correct way is:

"I have heard they intensified their bitterness towards us," she told us.

Let's look at another example:

She opened her mouth, "But Amma Jaan, my heart is appreciating you all the time."

The example above is incorrect. The comma before the first quotation mark makes it so. Correct it to:

She opened her mouth and said, "But Amma Jaan, my heart is appreciating you all the time."

Next: tenses. When you're writing, try to stick to one tense. You tend to switch between the two, which isn't something you should do. Let's see what I mean:

She kissed...

... and answers.

Kissed = past tense

Answers = present tense

Be careful about that. It's very easy to write the other. Chose one and stick to it. 

Plot Development: 3.5/5

I think that the plot develops quite nicely. It takes a bit of time for us to get to the "action", but you definitely hinted toward it. I like how to subtly drop hints throughout the chapters; it makes it like a puzzle.

I have to say: your writing is very vivid. Your sense of imagery and figurative language is on point—great job! I feel like I can smell the food through the screen, and I've never even tried it.

There is one point that I want to point out: don't put in unnecessary scenes. The beginning of the first chapter is about how she makes food, but I grew very bored very quickly. Avoid unnecessary writing; it makes your own writing seem sloppy and boring. Sometimes, it can seem like you're making up for lost time—that's not something a reader should see when reading. 

If you're lacking inspiration, add dialogue, add description—though, not too much—or add action. Don't bring this out of the blue—make it reasonable. 

Character Development: 4.5/5

Amaya is a very calm and collected in the beginning—I can see that. Her bickering with her siblings is something very realistic, so I like that.

When she gets taken away, I can see her slowly dwindle. Not too fast, not too slow—it was just the right pace. Her situation isn't something you can just be happy about, so I like that you portray it accurately. 

The only thing I found—and it is very small—is to maybe develop the other characters more. Give moments to Amaya when she worries about her family and friends. It'll be refreshing for her and the reader. 

Characterisation: 3.5/5

The differences between Amaya and her siblings were there—but I had to dig a little deeper to find them.

I said this before, but I like that they bicker. They are very family-oriented, and I can see how much they care for each other. Great job!

I wish you made the siblings a bit more independent. They rely on each other too much, in my opinion. Try to give them each their own mind. Separate their choices. 

OVERALL SCORE: 18/25

Overall, I very intriguing concept. Just tweak the grammar and punctuation and go over Characterization, and I think you should be good!

If you have any questions, please PM me Marykhah77.