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Review by Ember: The Freaks Go Out at Night

Title: The Freaks Go Out at Night

Author: tyragathers

Reviewer: EmberShy

Summary: 3/5

The summary was simple, it gave a simple view of what the book was about but nothing hooking. Irecommend changing this up a bit to draw your reader's attention in more.Granted, any Buffy fan would be all over this, but for someone who might not bea fan and might just be getting interested, it is probably not intriguingenough.

Grammar: 4/5

I rarely saw anymistakes, which is really good. Your sentences were well structured and yourpunctuation and spelling were mostly correct. I think something toremember, and I have to work on this too, is a good paragraph has 3 sentencesminimum and 6 maximum. This allows for room to breathe between each paragraph,and enough reading flow to keep you engaged without a break every few sentences.

Character Building: 5/5

I really like how youconveyed your characters. They seem fun and exciting, like I love thissentence:

"Willow! You're so much the person I wanted to see."

This sentence shows that Xander could be a great friend, and it's not all the time I see books that start with the guy being friendly. Usually they're rude, so this was nice to see.

But I will also relate this sentence to grammar, the sentence works but has a weird flow, try...

"Willow! It's so nice to see you! I've been looking for you actually."

This still shows that he wanted to see her and keeps the sentence friendly.

Writing Style: 3/5

Don't feel bad because Igive 3's -- it's what I give when things are average. Your writing style is infact, average, I've seen similar writing styles. This being the case, you shouldfind something that will make you unique. Find something to put in your workthat will make them different from everyone else.

Like for example, when I'm writing, I will often will make up words or use a different language to keep the element of surprise...

In my book The 200 Murders of 1977, I have a chapter "The Imperator has Casurus" -- this is Latin for "The Emperor has Fallen." 

Unless you happen to know Latin, this would be a surprise to you at the end of the chapter that the Emperor died.

So definitely find something that will make you unique.

Plot + Originality: 2/5

Please don't take this personally but the plot isn't unique. As most fanfictions aren't, keeping this in mind I went and searched around on Buffy fanfictions and found there are plenty that are very similar to your plot. 

Fanfictions are hard to make unique, so before writing them, consider searching around on the fanfictions. See if there is a way you can make it different.

Tell a story never told. Like, I write fanfictions often as well and some of them aren't unique. Something I've found that is the most popular among them is this...

Twilight A Different Kind Of Love: My most popular book and fanfiction it is a completely rewritten version of Twilight, but is gay; Bella is a boy named Esto, and the story is rewritten.

Jane's Mate: You don't see many fanfictions for Twilight involving Jane which is why I used her. But it also includes me as the protagonist and her mate, making it even more unique.

These are two examples that I will give you. You just need to find something to make your fanfiction unique. It's sometimes difficult, but I think you'll be able to do it if you try.

Cover: 4/5

I'm throwing this in extra because I believe it is important to have a great cover.

Your cover suits the book perfectly. While it isn't very interesting -- that's where you lost that one point -- I think it is well fitting and just could use some flair.

But it fits the book perfectly so you could just leave it as it is. If you wish to change it, definitely look into a cover shop. There are millions on Wattpad.

OVERALL SCORE: 21/30

Overall, I think your book is pretty good. There's a few places where you fall short, but coming from me, a 21 isn't bad in the least. You should continue writing and never give up! For this is just one person's opinion. I will and always tell people one thing I liked and disliked and that is...

I enjoyed your story because it provided a friendly vibe in the beginning and didn't give me a dramatic depression which I've read too much of lately.

I didn't like the fact that it was so blandly written and you should definitely work on some descriptive words and vocabulary.

Great job! With some editing I think you could have the work of a really great book!