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Review by Lone Wolf: Star Wars Rebels

Title: Star Wars Rebels

Author: thesunnywhy

Reviewer: GryffindorsLoneWolf 

Sorry for letting this take so long and being late with the review!

Summary: 4/5

I think it's pretty great! The only thing I have a bit of an issue with is the ellipses. They're usually in groups of threes and you seem to have a lot. If it's for suspense, not having them is okay. Having too many sometimes will make the reader notice those more than what you're trying to say.

Grammar: 4/5

There's some areas where you write 'her and someone else'. Usually it's the other way around as in 'Patrick and her' or 'Shelby and he'. I didn't really understand why you capitalized the first two words of each chapter either. Other than that, I didn't really see anything that stood out to me!

Character Building: 3/5

There didn't seem to be much of this initially. There was a lot of dialogue talking about what was going on, but it didn't really give insight to the characters. I know a majority of people know what Star Wars is, but giving a little background would help (or at least a dictionary). The scene with Ahsoka meeting her mentor seemed a little rushed to me. It doesn't have to only be action.

Writing Style: 3/5

Initially, I wasn't a huge fan of the switching of the point of views between Sabine and Ahsoka. It made it look like their areas were short and concise, without room for the reader to understand. But it got a lot better in the later chapters! You write really well, with the way the descriptions work into the scenes. I didn't feel anything was lacking, except for what the characters looked like. It can get hard to tell who's POV it is when you introduce a scene with multiple characters, so maybe showing something they're thinking could help differentiate that?

Some of your sentences look long and I'd suggest breaking them up. Other than that, I don't have anything else to comment on your style! Keep doing what you're doing.

Plot + Originality: 4/5

As I've said before, you're doing a great job with the writing and balance of action, description and dialogue in the later chapters. If you tweaked the first few, I think it'd be great! I took off a point because it's not entirely unique (of course your story is, but not what it's based off of). The plot seems to flow smoothly, without any weird gaps and such.

OVERALL SCORE: 18/25