Sapphire's Review Store 2.0

Review by Gnome: Miracle of Thoughts

Title: Miracle of Thoughts

Author: Dazzlingdawnlight

Reviewer: GnomeMercy

Just a little note: I'm not the best at reviewing poetry, as it isn't my strong point, so I tried to use a different set of criteria to review your poems. I hope that this is still helpful in some way, however!

Summary: 3.5/5

A good summary, I like the rhetorical question—but it runs on for too long without punctuation and reads a little difficultly. I recommend rephrasing it to make it a little easier to read.

I also advise you to explain that this is a poetry anthology instead of outright telling us, but that's just a small nit-pick. Also, I think it would be a good idea to explain what topics you might write your poetry on. I liked the idea of that small stanza however, so well done!

Overall, an interesting summary, but I think it needs a little more work.

Grammar + Poetic Techniques: 3.5/5

In terms of grammar, which has a different set of rules altogether in poetry, you did a pretty good job! I noticed no typos or errors during my read, so well done!

In terms of poetic techniques, there weren't too many poems so far, so I'll judge on that.

As of right now, you do have quite a few techniques such as rhyme, imagery, and enjambement. However, I always recommend widening your range of poetic devices. I didn't see too many metaphors, though I did find a few—I reccomend using some more to mix things up a bit. Some others I didn't see much in your poetry symbolism or similes.

There are many more devices that could be used in general, and I didn't see that much in your poetry. This isn't necessarily bad, it's just that things could sound quite similar if you don't mix it up a little. (It also gives more experience to you as the poet.)

I hope this isn't too confusing, I had to be quite nit-picky with your poetry, however. So well done!

Structure: 3.5/5

I definitely liked the power of some of your poems! Shorter lines definitely gave it more power, and a few definitely did that. In the poem "The Ticking Clock", there was a line that was quite a bit longer than the others. I also saw this in a few other poems as well. This can be a little jarring and make it a little hard to read, so I always recommend keeping your sentences to a similar amount of syllables.

I also always advise to use many different styles or structures, although I know how fun it is to write in free verse (trust me, I do it all the time). Try looking at Shakespearean sonnets or things like limericks—or even haikus! Trying different styles gives you some great experience, and they help in improving your overall level of poetry.

Clarity: 4/5

It was easy to understand your poems and wat was going on. I definitely got the meaning of a lot of them, well done!

There was one line in the poem "Thoughts Against Reality" that I didn't quite understand. As tempting as it is to change up sentence structures to make your poem rhyme, if you mix it up too much it becomes hard to understand. (Remember, not all poems need to rhyme!) It was in the last stanza:

Because I was procrastinated,
my heart never gave in for work...

When I read it, I wasn't quite sure what it meant, so I recommend you try to make it clearer. Other than that, good job! I recommend doing a quick sweep of your poems to see if you can find anymore unclear lines, just in case.

Emotions Evoked: 4/5

I think your poems had wonderful meanings and I could understand what you were trying to show. I could definitely feel the pain that was coming from some of these poems, and I could relate to quite a few of them. Sorry I don't have much feedback here, but keep up the good work!

OVERALL SCORE: 18.5/25

A very interesting collection of poems. Try to use some more techniques and structures to really enhance your style, and keep a look out for typos, too. Also try to make sure your lines have a similar number of syllables, especially if the rhyme with another line. Other than that, well done!