Ed Edd n Eddy + Nat (My Oc)

Sorry, Wrong Ed

[Shovelfuls of dirt fly over a fence. The Eds and Nat look out and see Rolf working furiously, a saltshaker on his head. Rolf shakes the salt into a bag and unknots it, revealing a fancy phone.]

Eddy: "Check out the phone! Rolf! How's a dud like you get a happening phone like this?"

Rolf: "Stay back!" [He picks the phone up with a shovel and holds it over the hole.]

Eddy: "You ain't throwing it away, are ya, stretch?"

Rolf: "Ask no questions!" [He dumps the phone in the hole.] "Shlack nor dah!" [Rolf buries it.]

Edd: "A ceremonial telephone burial? My, how quaint."

Nat: "I agree."

Ed: "Can I help, Rolf?"

Rolf: "Step no further! Rolf must complete this task forced upon him or we are all doomed!" [Eddy has taken the phone and is dusting it off.]

Eddy: "I'll give ya...a shoelace for it."

Rolf: "FOOL!" [He slaps the telephone into the hole, making Eddy's hand swell up like a beach ball, then buries it again.]

Edd: "Pardon me, Rolf, but how can a telephone be a messenger of doom?"

Rolf: [having buried the phone] "Know-nothing!"

Nat: "But, then why are you-"

Eddy: "Don't bury it, give it to me!"

Rolf: "Walk away from the suffering that has cursed Rolf's family for generations, Ed-boy!"

Eddy: [leading Rolf away] "I got a feeling you cracked there, Dracula. Why don't you get Victor to give you a massage or something, and I'll guard the big bad phone for ya?"

Rolf: "Victor's hooves are magic on Rolf's hardened muscles. Thank you, Ed-boy! Thank you!"

Edd: "That was really nice of you, Eddy, to ease Rolf's intrinsic guilt."

Eddy: "Idiot." [Rolf turns the corner.] "Okay, Ed! Dig!"

Ed: "Goodie goodie!" [digging] "Dig a hole, dig a hole."

Nat: "Eddy, this is a bad idea."

Edd: "Really, Eddy? Another knickknack for that already overstimulated room of yours?"

Eddy: "Jealous!"

[An errant clod of dirt hits Edd.]

Edd: "Ouch!"

[Eddy puts a record on and swats a candle off his bedside table. He places the telephone in the newly vacated spot and looks at it admiringly.]

Eddy: "Cuts a figure in society, don't it!"

Ed: "Is that a new phone?"

Nat: "Yes it is."

Edd: "Please stay with us, Ed."

[The phone rings.]

Eddy: "Somebody's calling me!"

Edd: "Strange. There doesn't seem to be any connection, yet–"

Eddy: "So? It's called a cordless, grampa." [answering] "Hello?"

[The record on the turntable wobbles and shoots off, hitting Eddy on the side of his head.]

Nat: "Eddy!"

Edd: "Edward!"

Ed: "Yes, Mommy?"

Eddy: "What's with you?"

Ed: "It wasn't me, Eddy!" [He hangs the phone up.] "Honest and for truly!" [The phone rings.] "Got it!"

Eddy: "Get away from my phone, stupid! It's probably Nazz."