Ed Edd n Eddy + Nat (My Oc)

The Good, The Bad and The Ed

[Around the cul-de-sac, fall is in full bloom, and the kids are doing their chores and cleaning up the fallen leaves. Suddenly, a poorly played bugle is heard, and the Urban Rangers march to the center of the cul-de-sac. Rolf begins to speak.]

Rolf: "Rangers! Halt." [A table is set down.] "The Urban Rangers will now entice you with their discipline and derring-do."

[The Urban Rangers proceed to rake and bag the leaves, wash the windows, and clean the gutters in one fell swoop. The kids, with the exception of Eddy, cheer this miraculous feat.]

Ed: "Are they fancy or what?"

Eddy: [blowing a raspberry] "Urban Losers." [The Rangers get behind their sign-up booth.]

Rolf: "Potential petitioners of the cul-de-sac. As you have seen, you too can ease the burden of daily chores."

[The Rangers unfold a giant placard reading "Join the Urban Rangers."]

Rolf: "Come join the Urban Rangers and become the master of the mundane! The duke of duties! Earn badges! Impress your relatives!"

Nat: "Wow!"

Edd: "You do have to admire their efforts in educating the community, Eddy."

[Eddy marches up to the desk. Rolf holds out a pen. Eddy takes another route: he tears the brochure into tiny strips and leaves the crumbled remains behind. Satisfied, he walks away.]

Rolf: "Ah, Rolf sees the Urban Rangers are far too demanding for one whose head resembles a side table to a couch."

[Rolf sets a cup of tea on Eddy's head, and the kids, except for Edd and Nat, laugh. Ed dunks a piece of toast in the tea.]

Eddy: [inflamed] "OKAY, TOUGH GUY! HOW ABOUT I TAKE YOU ON FOR THE HARDEST BADGE YOU GOT?! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!"

Jimmy: "Holy mackerel! Is he talking about the–the–"

Rolf: [fear in his eyes] "The Hairy Chest of Resilience badge?" [The Urban Rangers gasp.]

Jonny: "Nobody's earned that badge in over fifty years!"

Rolf: "This badge has trampled the eggplants of many a brave hopeful who have tried to obtain it!"

Eddy: [irreverent] "Quack! I smell a chicken!"

Ed: [excited] "A chicken, Eddy?"

Eddy: "Yep! A big urban free-range–er chicken!" [to Rolf] "I got a badge for you, mister chicken! How about the 'Go Home and Lay an Egg' badge?" [He laughs.]

Rolf: [angered] "Enough! Your mockery of the domestic fowl insults Rolf! You know not where you tread, Ed-boy. Urban Rangers!" [He stalks away. Jonny and Jimmy haul out a huge book.]

Ed: [putting Eddy on his head] "Follow the chicken! Follow the chicken! Follow the chicken!"

Edd: [nervous] "Eddy, according to my calculations, taking into consideration mass versus height versus the scope of coverage in sheer body hair, Rolf surpasses you in every category, Eddy!" [He holds up the sheet of statistics, clearly showing Rolf is too skilled to go up against.]

Eddy: "Oh yeah? Well who cares! I'll show these Urban Dweebs once and for all!"

Nat: "Oh no."

[A flag is raised over the construction site. This is not the usual Urban Rangers flag; this one is red and white and features a picture of a muscled torso. The kids sit on a stack of woods, ready to enjoy the show.]

Jimmy: "Hear ye, hear ye! You brave men are about to embark on a series of tests!" [flipping the book open] "Ordained by the Grand Poobah of the International Urban Rangerhood! Make your way to the Circle of Supremacy!" [As he was talking, Jonny had drawn a ring around the competitors.]