An Ed is Born

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[Rolf is crawling along the sidewalk, sniffing as he goes. He crawls over Jonny.]

Jonny: "Hiya, Rolf! What'cha doing there, guy?"

Rolf: "Silence! Rolf must brood."

[Rolf follows the trail to Ed's house, which he enters, still crawling. He comes to the basement steps and falls down them. He looks through a keyhole into Ed's room. Inside, Ed has his bathtub filled with water and a group of chickens wearing diving masks are floating in it.]

Nat: "Ed I don't think this is a good idea."

Edd: [worried] "Ed, this is so wrong! Rolf's sure to discover his chickens are missing!" [Rolf enters.]

Ed: [to the chickens while he holds a hula hoop] "Here we go! Jump! You there, upsy-daisy!"

[Rolf sees Ed with his chickens and gets mad.]

Ed: "Uhh...I think you have to go home, chickens."

Nat: "I'm sorry Rolf."

Edd: "Please excuse Ed, he meant-"

Rolf: [motioning for Edd to stop, then, pleasantly] "Let Rolf understand this. I suppose disgracing Rolf is okay to you, Ed boy. Walking off with Rolf's chickens like a fine howdy-do?"

Ed: "It was their idea, Rolf. As they wanted to be the best chickens they could be! Bless their little giblets."

[Ed suddenly notices Eddy outside of his window, pushing a crate.]

Rolf: "Is that so, Ed boy?" [angry] YOU HAVE SQUEEZED AN ORANGE RIND IN THE EYE OF ROLF! RETURN THE CHICKENS, OR ROLF WILL-"

[Rolf gets hit by a crate flying down the stairs. The impact sends Rolf flying out the basement window.]

Ed: "That concludes our lessons for today, ladies! Ta Ta! Same time tomorrow!"

[The chickens exit by virtue of a ski pole leading to a window.]

Eddy: [coming down the stairs] "Hey guys, look at what my brother sent me! That big lug."

Edd: "Your brother sent you this?"

Ed: "I think his brother sent it to him, Double D."

Nat: "What did he send?"

Eddy: "Check it out! I bet it's a car or something."

Edd: [reading the crate's label] "Why, this seems to be addressed to a 'Pipsqueak,' Eddy. A pet name for his baby brother, I assume?" [Ed and Edd giggle.]

Eddy: "Yeah, so? That means head honcho in our house. Why else would he send me the key to a new truck?"

[Eddy holds up a pacifier. Ed and Edd laugh.]

Eddy: [realizing] "This is baby stuff! What's he think I am, a two year old?!" [He pulls out a rattle and shakes it.]

Nat: "Aww."

Ed: "Cool."

[Eddy chucks the rattle. Ed runs after it.]

Eddy: [turning to the chuckling Edd] "What are you lookin' at?"

Edd: [still giggling] "I'm sorry, Eddy, but don't you think it's rather amusing that your brother still thinks of you as his baby brother?"

Eddy: [angry] "No! I HATE being a baby brother!"

Edd: [rolling his eyes] "OK, then."

Ed: [grabbing his friends] "Listen." [He shakes the rattle.]

Eddy: [getting an idea] "Hold your horses! I'll just show him how big I've gotten. Ed, take me to the mailbox, pronto!" [Eddy seals himself in the crate and Ed carries him upstairs]

Ed Edd n Eddy + Nat (My Oc)Where stories live. Discover now