Dueling Eds

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[Jonny looks out from behind a lightpole. Deciding it's safe, he creeps up to a fire hydrant.]

Jonny: "Hey hydrant, your fly's undone!" [He laughs and runs away.] "Hydrants are slower than molasses, huh Plank?"

Eddy: [leaping out from a tree to land in front of him] "Komohatza!"

Jonny: "For crying out loud!"

Eddy: "Yeea!" [Another Eddy lands behind Jonny.] "Shoy!" [A third lands on his left.] "Shoy!" [A fourth to Jonny's left.] "Wee-ya weeya weeya! Whah whah whah!" [Jonny is in the center of a circle of Eddys.]

Jonny: "I think I'm reliving that expired tofu, Plank. Huh?" [He notices the mirrors.] "You gotta be pulling my leg! Special effects?"

Eddy: "That's right, grasshopper. Only one of the lessons you'll learn at Master Eddy's School of Kung-fu."

[Ed falls through the wall of the makeshift school.]

Ed: "Did I get it?"

Edd: "Not by a mile, Ed. Shall we try one more time?" [He holds up a log.] "Remember, Ed. Envision the log, focus, and make contact."

Nat: "You can do it Ed!"

[Edd holds the log out. Ed concentrates and then brings his head down.]

Ed: "Hi-ya!" [He splits the log in half.]

Nat: "Wow!"

Edd: "Hallelujah! Mind over matter triumphs! Let's do it again, Ed."

Eddy: "We can enroll you today for only a quarter, grasshopper."

Jonny: "Now there's a deal! What's that Plank?"

Plank:

Jonny: [after consulting Plank] "Plank says make like a rocket and take off."

Eddy: "I shall honor your decision, oh head of a thousand gallons."

[Edd, Nat and Ed are working on the head chop again.]

Edd: "Focus, Ed."

Ed: "I am one with my shoe size, Double D."

Edd: "That's nice, Ed, just hit the dang thing."

[Eddy shoves Jonny into Edd's arms.]

Ed: "Ha!"

Edd: "Jonny?" [He yanks Jonny back.]

Ed: "Yah!" [He brings his head down, narrowly missing Jonny and instead going through the floor.] "Hello." [Eddy cackles furiously.]

Edd: "Eddy!"

Jonny: [leaving] "That was so funny I forgot to laugh."

Eddy: "Lemme remind ya, you wood-lovin–" [He hears the sound of Kevin's bike.]

Eddy: [racing to keep up with Kevin] "Hey Kev, ever thought of taking kung-fu lessons? Real cheap!"

Kevin: "Get away from me." [He turns into the lane.]

Jimmy: [from the other direction] "Hurry Sarah, I think it's started!"

Sarah: "What is it?"

Nazz: "It's supposed to be important or something."

Eddy: "Where're they going? I hate it when they don't tell us about stuff! What could be more important than Master Eddy?"

Ed: [excited] "COOKIE DOUGH! Yum yum yum yum yum."

Edd: "They say in order to gain knowledge, one must seek it. Shall we, Nat?" [He walks off with Nat, and Eddy follows.]

[Rolf is standing on a post, dressed in a strange purple costume. The kids ooh and aah in admiration. The Eds and Nat arrive and stare at the spectacle. Suddenly, Jonny reaches up and shakes Rolf.]

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