Trips Through Life

Chapter 10: hug

Today marked the third day of being at the beach. The first day was just unpacking and stuff, yesterday was a carnival.. tommy wondered what today would be. But un luckily for him, he woke up with his nerves torn up.

He didn't know why, it just happened sometimes, usually the morning after a bad panic attack.. but he didn't have one.. did he..? He sighed. He shook as if he were cold. Like, really cold.

Yesterday was a pretty good day but maybe today not so much.. he couldn't remember what happened after they got home, maybe.. his eyes widened.

Did he go into one of his worst panic attacks after they got home? He gulped. Did anyone see? Did everyone see..? He shook his head and got up. His knees were wobbily as well. He got dressed and hesitantly opened his door. He didn't want to see anyone.

If he had a panic attack in front of everyone, especially one of his worse ones, what did they think..? Well, things last night with tubbo and ranboo were pretty normal.. so.. maybe he was just thinking to much into this. But it didn't stop his shaking.

That was involuntary. He couldn't control that or make it go away just by calming down. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass. His hands were so shakey. He sat it down and opened his medine bottle.

He tried to pour out his one daily pill but with his shakey hands he wound up pouring out like 7. He stared at them and shook his head sitting the bottle down.

Wilbur and ranboo came in, wilbur was going to make breakfast and ranboo needed something to drink, so when they came in all they saw was tommy with a handful of pills.

Tommy looked at them "h-hi" shit. Not only was his body shakey, so was his voice. Wilbur walked over and grabbed his wrist gently "what're you doing..?" Tommy sighed "I-i was going to take m-my medine but I'm all shakey and I a-accidently poured out t-to many, I-i was about to pour them b-back in"

Wilbur nodded and held the bottle for him to put them back in. He shakily put them in and took one. He closed the bottle and sighed leaning on the counter. Ranboo made himself a drink and stood beside him.

Wilbur moved to the stove to make breakfast. Tommy sat down his drink before he dropped it and sighed. He knew his shakiness wouldn't go away for a while. He knew that hugs or some form of comfort helped the shakiness go away but he was definitely not going to ask anyone for a hug just to calm down his shaking.

Ranboo looked tommy up and down. Ranboo and tubbo didn't know about the 'incident', but they knew almost 7 months ago tommy began to change. And especially 4 almost 5 months ago he seemed really really anxious.

All they knew was tommy had anxiety, they didn't know why or how he got it, and they didn't know it was severe until. Well.. last night.

The only people who knew about the 'incident' was phil, wilbur, techno and sam. Sam knew because he visited him in the hospital. And the only people who knew about.. the night 7 months ago with that.. guy.. was wilbur and phil.

Tommy told them to not tell anyone. No one else. He didn't want ranboo and tubbo knowing about either of the incidents that happened. So neither knew. And he wanted to keep it that way. He knew all they knew was that he was more anxious because they'd ask him about it before, tommy just told them something happened at school.

They hesitantly believed him. Now both knew how severe his anxiety was. Ranboo saw it at the carnival on the swing, tubbo and him both saw it at the house. Now they knew how bad his anxiety could really get. They felt bad for him. They wanted to help.

Ranboo put a hand on his shoulder and tommy looked at him. "You ok?" He ask. Tommy nodded. "Yea I g-get shakey sometimes, not that i-im scared just happens" he shrugged.

Ranboo nodded and hummed. "I wonder what we're doing today" ranboo shrugged. "Not sure" they went to the living room and sat on the couch. "Tubbo s-still asleep?" Ranboo nodded "yup, he stayed up late" tommy chuckled. "Sounds about r-right"

Ranboo noticed how violent the shaking was now that they sat together. It was like it wasn't calming down. Usually shaking like this took tommy about two hours to completely stop. Unless of course he had comfort, then it stopped earlier.

It's not like the shaking was a big problem, it was just.. annoying. It kinda hurt his stomach. He didn't want to have a stomach ache today. What if they were doing a lot of walking, he'd probably get sick, he'd ruin the day by it, they were supposed to have fun, he was going to ruin it with his stomach ache.

Tommy reached up to grab his hair and play with it to calm his thoughts but he was engulfed in a hug.

A hug. What he needed.