The Quotes Book

13

1'THERE ARE FISH. ON MY FEET'

2' you would be scared too if you were catching fish, snails and crabs and all of a sudden A SHRIMP THE SIZE OF YOUR FUCKING HAND STARTS NIBBLING ON YOUR LEG'

1'here are the cows that said that Saint Marcus was a tapir'

1'sometimes I worry about you'
2'only sometimes???'
1'good point'

1'emotional support dolphin'
2'thats a bath toy'

1'our options are-'
2'jumping in front of a car?'
3'self harming in the bathroom?'
4'climbing a tree?'
5'climbing on a roof?'
6'climbing a tree or roof and then reading Lord Of The Rings?'
7'listening to depressing music?'
8'finding that one sad animation we watched on YouTube three years ago?'
9'drawing thicc anime girls?'
10'reading fanfiction?'
1'-ice cream or cake for pudding... What the fuck'

1'i don't know how to be a washing machine'

1'sir, please go to sleep. It is half eleven at night'
2'ITS ONLY HALF ELEVEN??? OH MY GOD I HAVE LIKE THREE MORE HOURS TO READ AND WRITE FANFICTION-'

1'gender'
2'you sent a picture of a plastic goat toy... Can we get some context?'
1'no'

1'i don't want to fall back into the pit of youtube comics'

1'if I hate myself am I homophobic?'
2'if that's the case then we're all homophobic'

1' you've heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for...' *holding baguette obove head*

1'please don't draw the buff sheep man'

1'i was watching YouTube and your message saying nothing but "tits" appeared on my screen. I instantly clicked it and I was not disappointed"
2'i blame you for the fact that I have drawn all these'
1'tiddies tho'
2' tiddies'

1'i hated him, then he sung time warp and he has been fully redeemed of his shit singing previously'

1'they played Hakkuna Mattata, then Year 3000 then Harder, Better, Stronger, Faster and I instantly love this place'

1'this sounds like the kind of song I would listen to at 3AM and cry at'
2'you don't actually do that though do you?'
1'what? No... Definitely not.'

1'SIR.SEEK HELP. GET THERAPY. '
2'IM ON HOLIDAY, THERE'S NO THERAPY ON HOLIDAY'
1' RANT ON THE INTERNET THEN'
2' FINE. FUCK YOU.'
1'FUCK YOU TOO.'

don't worry, we do this all the time, neither of us mean it, we're just stressed and after being in the same body and mind for years 24/7 we insult each other like this a lot for fun

1'ew. I have boobs'

1' fuck monogomy. Fuck single sets of pronouns. Fuck only using one name. Fuck labels. I will identify how I want and yall better respect that'
2'what they said'

1'remember how I said I was going to draw all the teachers as cat boys?'
2'oh god no'
1'yeah here are a lot of teachers as cat boys'

1'im trying to explain why giving the person with a collar kink a collar and a leash for their birthday is a bad idea. Please help'
2'wht are you discouraging them? Please buy me a collar and a leash for any occasion'