The Quotes Book

51

1'i dont know what's skin and what's cereal'

1'everyday, things are coming my way'
1'i put legs, on the microwave'

Everyone: *arguing*
2'YOU DON'T GET FLAKY ORANGES'

1'aw I platonically love you- ah fuck, its gay sex'

1'help me, they're pushing my chest and singing dick songs!'
2'CPR'

1'hello I am a tiny gnome, give me your dick'

1'i just climbed a tree. Therefore, I am God'

1'who shampoos their eyebrows?'
2'me'

1'stab stab stab, they gave me bush trauma'

1'no little german boy, don't make a furry zombie apocalypse!'
2'oh main götts, doctow I think I'm tuwning into a zombie UwU'

1'let me make bush art'
1*pummels the bush*

1'slunking the slonk'
2'welcome to English class'

1'omg shut the fuck up, you bitch ass bastard, sorry excuse of a toenail, 'dude' is gender neutral, you fucking son of a whore'
1*cough*
1'thank you for coming to my TEDtalk'

1'what is the plot of this book, other than gay sex?'

1'why is our uniform all black?'
2'idk, microwave?'
3'DID SOMEONE MENTION MY WIFE?'

1'help, the roadmen are searching up Hentai on the school computer'
2'wtf'
1'add that to your quotes book, you little purple gremlin'
2'im gonna do it'
1'NO-'

1'i put gays in the microwave and they came out, looking like Micheal Jackson'

1'please don't have sex with my shoes'

1'I mixed a crab, a bird, a decapitated buffalo, a strawberry, a burger, a priest, and mothman'
1'And what do I get?'
1'A very polite looking dog/labrador'

1'rod of Shakira'
2'OLAYOLAYOLAY-'

1'hey there little caterpillar, I'm gonna take you to club and influence you'
2'just do one cigarette, ladybird'

1'it is hot and gay people are bending over'

1'The sole reason I relate to Matt Murdock is because my father pissed in my eyes'

1'I’ve just experienced death'
2'Girl boss'

1'help theres people speaking french and I am but a frog'

1'my oil was too oily I had to throw it out'

1'you made a thing'
2'yes'
1'it is awful'
2'yes'
1'you put it in Australia didnt you?'
2'...yes'

1'i really, just wanted to thank you, and apologise, for everything. You do mean s lot to me, even if I never really mention it. You're a great friend'
2'piss'