Loki and Sigyn, His Glorious Purpose

Chapter Twenty Seven

SIGYN'S POINT OF VIEW
To say the least, I was not having a great time.

The week after my incident, I had been completely confined to my bedchamber. I was barely allowed to leave my bed, much less my room. I insisted I was fine, that I could at least go on a walk or go to dinner, but Loki demanded I stay here.

When I had tried to tell him this, he altogether erupted. He yelled at me asking why I would risk my health and our child's health for a stupid walk. I insisted that it would be alright, that I just needed to get out of this room. But, of course, he refused to believe me. Loki got so close to me as he yelled my ears were ringing. He called me selfish for even asking such a thing.

So obviously, my husband and I were on great terms. It didn't help that he was barely around anymore. All day long he would be gone, doing who knows what. When he would return home he would almost always ask of me some sexual favor. Initially, I truly didn't mind, in fact I was happy to have intimacy with him again. But as the weeks went on I felt more than used. When I said no, he would never force me. Not once did he even guilt trip me for denying him. It just felt so strange that he wouldn't allow me to go on a damn walk but he felt it was appropriate for me to, well...you get the point.

Hertha didn't make me feel at all better when she came to visit me.

"He could be cheating on you," she said bluntly as she helped me fold baby swaddles.

"Loki would never," I insisted, "He's been working himself like a dog in preparation for this baby. He's had all of her clothes made, is working so hard on her nursery, he's definitely not cheating on me. Why would you say that?"

Hertha did no more than shrug. I brushed off her accusation with ease. I didn't believe that for a second. I knew Loki's change in behavior was stress induced. He was up with the sunrise, tending to all the things he had to do as king before he transitioned to daddy dearest, making sure every little thing was prepared for our daughter down to her socks.

"I just need to talk to him is all," I said, "I know something's been heavy on his heart, he's just too stressed to let himself share it with me."

"Whatever you say," she said, "Have you
finally decided on a name?"

"No, I'm honestly too scared to bring it up," I said with a chuckle, "With the way his temper has been I think bringing up Hela may cause him to combust."

"I wish he would just let you name her that," she said with a scoff, "I don't know what he wants, does he just want you to name her Lokia? After him?"

I laughed, "Even he did, Lokia Lokisdottir is an absolutely atrocious name."

Later that night when Hertha was long gone, Loki finally came home.

I smiled and greeted him warmly, "Hello, my love! How was your day?"

"Fine," he said with a sigh, "Busy. How was yours?"

"Nothing exciting but Hertha came and visited me!"

"Hertha? Out of all seven of your sisters, why have her come and visit you."

My smile disappeared immediately.

"Does it matter?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Yes, yes it does," he said matter of factly as he began to undo his armor, "I don't want her filling you head with nonsense."

I scoffed, "Nonsense like you cheating?"

"Precisely," he said with a sigh.

"What is with you, lately?" I asked, "Every day you come to me in an awful mood. I never see you any more. It's like you're avoiding me."

"Maybe I am avoiding you," he said sharply, turning to meet me.

"And what did I do to deserve this?" I said, pushing him away from me, "Did I not suck you off to your royal satisfaction? Are you soooo distraught over the name Hela? What is it? Tell me. I can take it."

"Don't you ever push me away," he said coldly, "Do you really want to know, Sigyn? Do you really want to know the truth? Well here we fucking go. You married one of the worst men in all of asgard. My love, my ledger? It's too far gone to be dripping at this point. I've killed more men than I can count. You didn't do a thing wrong except saying yes to marrying me. I'm the one at fault. Just ask your damn sister. You are so innocent and sweet, a perfect lilly of the valley. I've fucked just as many people as I've killed. Where was I going with this, oh yes, I'm terrified of cheating on you. That's it. I can't look at you with feeling the massive amount of guilt that I would feel if I were to cheat on you. Hell, I feel guilty even now! Every time I see you're face your sister's damn voice rings on my head, question my loyalty to you, telling me that I ripped you away from all that you've ever known. So yes, maybe I am avoiding you my love, because it's far easier than admitting that I'm a self absorbed sex addict who essentially ruined your life."

My head whirled but truthfully I could do no more than slap him. He clutched his face and looked at me shocked.

"Why are you shocked?" I asked him angrily, "Why are you so shocked that I would just
let you say something so stupid. Loki, you are quite possibly the most idiotic person in the world. You don't think I know how many men you've killed? You don't think I would've guessed that the prince of Asgard had more whores than he could name? Worst of all, do you really think I'm so sweet and innocent that I can't make one god damn decision for myself? Loki. I wanted to marry you, I wanted to lose my virginity to. These are all things I consented to! If I really wanted to live a meager life hearding pigs and working till the day I die, I had every opportunity to say no. You were locked in prison! I could've said no and left you in there to rot. But I didn't. I've known you were self absorbed since the moment I met you! Of course you're a sex addict, it's literally all you've ever known! I've known all of this and more, Loki Laufeyson. And I still chose to marry you and carry your child, why? Because I love you. So stop acting so god damn stupid and stop listening to my sister and just listen to me. Your wife! I know your flaws but I love you more for them, and I will never leave your side. I expect you to do the same."