Loki and Sigyn, His Glorious Purpose

Chapter Thirty-One

It had been 39 hours since I last saw Sigyn.

I hadn't heard a single word about her. Whether she was alive or dead, I truly did not know.

Everything had gone so quickly.

Holding Hela in my arms, I was ushered out of our chamber and the large wooden doors were slammed shut behind me.

Since then, everything has been silent. On occasion, Hela would let out a small cry or whimper but she was quickly quieted by a bottle and a gentle rocking.

Sigyn had been right, about Hela that is. She was my spitting image with large round eyes, a pale complexion, and stark black hair. Her tiny pink ears stuck out just slightly and her rosebud lips were curled in such a way that she looked to be smiling. If perfection ever existed, Hela was it.

"Your highness," a nursemaid squeaked softly, "If I may just hold the princess for just a moment? So that you can get cleaned up?"

Looking down at myself, I realized my arms and clothes were still stained with Sigyn's blood.

"I-I didn't even realize," I mumbled as I handed Hela off to the woman.

She offered a small smile as she took Hela into her arms.

"Support her head," I demanded, "And if she cries, rock her don't bounce, she'll get sick and-"

"I know how to hold a babe, your majesty, I'm sure I'll manage," she assured me.

"Right," I breathed, "I'll be right back."

My hands were shaking as I walked through Hela's nursery. The white fluorescence of the walls made the blood look somehow redder. As I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I realized what a mess I was.

From fingertips to elbows, blood freckled my skin. My hair was in absolute disarray. My clothing was wrinkled profusely. The only part of myself that seemed unscathed was my leather armoring.

I washed myself off in the basin, watching as scalding hot water melted off the crimson color. I splashed my face, attempting to wake myself up and calm my electrifying nerves. I met my eyes in the mirror, combing back my hair with the running water.

Looking at myself, I could hardly keep it together. I wanted to scream, shatter the mirror, cry and run to Sigyn all at once. But no, I had to stay collected. For Hela, I had to remain strong. I knew that's what Sigyn would want.

I took a deep breath, shaking myself out before returning to meet to nursemaid. Without any hesitation, I took my daughter back into my arms.

"You can leave," I said softly, "I can take her."

With no more than a curt nod and quick curtsy, I was left alone with my daughter once more.

The tick of the clock was nearly deafening. Each second seemed longer than the last as time seemed to drag on.

I waited for anything, just some reassurance that Sigyn was alright.

I hadn't slept a wink since seeing Sigyn last. I didn't want to. I couldn't possibly leave Hela unsupervised and I definitely didn't want to sleep through any alert of Sigyn's condition.

I fought every ounce of tiredness as I cradled Hela in her rocking chair. I attempted to keep myself awake by taking note of every single aspect of Hela's nursery.

In the cool darkness of the night, I took note of the stark white walls. Small pieces of silver danced across the walls with patterns of flowers and small golden birds sat on the silver branches. How cute, I thought to myself. My eyes moved to her windows, silky white curtains allowed moonlight to spill onto the floor and blocked our view of the palace court yard. Near the giant windows, her crib sat tucked away in the corner. The small bassinet had a lace trim and was covered by a white canopy. A large white bookshelf was filled to the brim with story books. I attempted to read every title in order to keep my eyes open. Every single detail had been thought out by Sigyn. I knew how hard she had worked to make the nursery comfortable and gorgeous. It was quite perfect for a little princess.

As I thought of Sigyn, I couldn't help but close my eyes. I slowly drifted to sleep before Hela began to cry and whimper.

"Shh, shh," I cooed, immediately beginning to rock her in my arms, "Papa's here."

Her cries only grew louder as I talked to her. her whimpers soon turned into blood curdling screams. At the noise, two nurse maids rushed in to my aid. They attempted to take Hela from my arms but I quickly shielded her from their touch.

"She's my daughter," I hissed, "I can handle her, thank you."

"She's fussy, just let us feed her," the nurse pleaded, reaching for Hela yet again.

"Can't you leave me be?" I snapped, batting the woman's hand away, "I'm her father, alright? Can't you just let me take of her?"

"Sir, she's hungry, we have a bottle-"

I chuckled, "Oh thank you," I said sarcastically as if I was too stupid to put that together myself, "Give me the damn bottle and leave. Is that too hard?"

"Sir we meant no offense, you haven't slept in over a day and Sigyn-"

My ears immediately pricked at her name, "Sigyn? Do you know if she's alright? What's happened to her?"

"I don't know, your highness. I was simply trying to say Sigyn hasn't had the chance to nurse her and so Hela may have a hard taking to the bottle."

Hela's crying had yet to cease and her poor voice was scratchy as she screamed.

"Right, I can feed her, I promise I'm alright," I said softly taking the bottle from the nurse, "Thank you for your help though."

They nodded, "Of course, if you ever need a thing just let us know."

I nodded curtly as they went on their way.

As I fed Hela, hot stinging tears fell down my face.

"Dammit," I said softly, looking up at the ceiling to try and stifle the flow.

My mind had diverted to the worst. Sigyn is dead, rang in my mind like an awful nightmare. The picture of her cold body was a gaping wound to my heart. If she were dead, I had no clue what I would do with myself. As I looked over our duaghter, this tiny little life we created I couldn't imagine raising her without Sigyn. God what a terror she would be if she only had me to look up to.

I held Hela in my arms, watching as her little nose scrunched as she suckled. As I looked over her, trying to find any shred of hope, a guard walked into the nursery.

"Your highness, I have a message to relay to you."

I sighed, "What now?"

"It's about Lady Sigyn, sir."