Loki and Sigyn, His Glorious Purpose

Chapter Sixty-One

Six men including Iwald and I, delicately took Sigyn to a cabin on board. Now that she was stabilizng, we could move her without fear of hurting her. Despite all assurance that she was alright, I couldn't help but take constant notice of her pulse once she had been laid down. I counted each beat, one, two, three, making sure each was sharp and steady. The rhythm was slow and faint, but it was there. She was going to be alright.

Hertha refused to leave Sigyn's side, even once we were in the cabin. She sat at her feet, watching her intently. From the way Hertha was so focused on Sigyn, I could tell she was watching her sister's chest steadily rise and fall. We were both silent, listening to no more than Sigyn's breathing.

I had nothing to say to Hertha and she clearly didn't have anything to say to me. But, as I watched her look over her sister I realized the only way I could ever fix things with Sigyn is I fixed things with Hertha as well. They were sisters, attached at the hip. Without the trust of one, you couldn't have the trust of the other.

Not knowing where to start, I decided to attempt to prove my innocence in all of this.

"I didn't do this to her you realize," I said softly, refusing to look away from Sigyn.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you did," Hertha replied, "You've been known to back stab, wouldn't be too out of your range to shoot someone from behind either."

I took a deep breath. God, I wanted to get snippy with her. I so badly wanted to shoot back some witty response, putting that dumb girl in her place. But, for once, I held my tongue.

"Why did you come back?" she asked, "She would've been better off if you just stayed gone. Maybe then she would at least be able to find a husband who truly cared for her. One who would actually stay at her side."

"I don't blame you for being angry at me," I explained, doing my best to keep calm, "I've been more than immature, conceited, and irresponsible over the last few months. I know that, I-"

Hertha laughed lightly, "The last few months? How about the last six years? Sigyn is constantly having to talk you off a ledge, convincing you that she's enough for you, and lifting you up in all of your endeavors. You have been nothing but dead weight for her. She has no time to grow up herself, she's too busy fussing over you. What have you given her in return?"

I opened my mouth but Hertha quickly cut me off, "I can answer that for you. It's quite simple actually. You've given her nothing. Nothing substantial at least. Dresses and jewels don't count."

She was right. I hated to admit it. But Hertha was right. Had it been merely a week ago, I may have spiraled into a bout of terrifying self pity. But, as I looked at Sigyn, I knew this wasn't about it. It wasn't time to feel sorry for myself. No. I had done something wrong, I needed to own up to it. Sigyn wasn't there to make fix it all for me or forgive me with open arms. This was a mistake I had created, it was my turn to clean it up.

"You're right," I admitted, turning to her, "I haven't been the man she deserves. Nor have I been the father Hela deserves."

Hertha looked at me as if I had just told her something absolutely shocking. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open in awe.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"I'm surprised," she said with a small laugh, "In this six years of knowing you, you've never once admitted your faults. I hate to say it but I'm somewhat impressed."

I pursed my lips, unknowing to whether I should be offended or delighted at Hertha's shock. It was taking a lot to not just lash out at her.

"Well, Hertha, you know your sister best," I said, "If anyone could tell me how to fix my mistakes, it'd be you."

She nodded in agreement, "Right again, Loki."

"I would ask Sigyn but-"

"But she would tell you that everything is fine," Hertha finished, "Trust me, I know. When we were younger, I would try so hard to make her angry. So badly I wanted to see her argue and I was constantly in trouble for throwing fits but Sigyn just never did. She doesn't like conflict."

I nodded, "Every time we've fought, she almost refuses to argue. She just...let's me win, I suppose."

"Sounds about right," Hertha said, laughing lightly, "As stubborn as she is, it takes a lot for her to want to argue or yell. She's slow to anger."

"She yelled at me today," I admitted, "Guess that's how I know I really messed up."

"Whatever she told you, you deserved it," Hertha said.

"I know."

"If you want to stand any chance of making her happy, if that's even possible," Hertha began, "You need to change a lot about yourself."

"Please, enlighten me then," I said, "Since you're obviosuly the expert on good husbandry."

She shot me a glare.

"First off you need to stop that. Do you talk to her like that?" Hertha asked.

"Talk to her like what?"

"Talking to her like she's an idiot? Mocking her?" Hertha asked, "God, you're lucky you're not my husband, I would've killed you by now if I was talked to like that on the daily."

"If I did talk to her like that, I wouldn't know," I said, faking a smile, "But I doubt I do, seeing that I don't think Sigyn's stupid."

"Well, you should try to be more mindful of that," she continued, "Just listen to her more, let her opinion be heard. She gives small hints to what she wants or needs, you just have to be willing to listen to those cues."

"I can do that," I said, "I can definitely do that."

"Good," Hertha said, "I wish I could give you all the answers, Loki. I really wish I could, for Sigyn's sake at the very least. But I can't. I'm not my sister."

Obviously, I thought to myself, You're annoying as hell and not nearly as pretty as my wife.

"When she wakes up, she's going to be begging to get up and work," Hertha explained, "But she won't be able to. She'll have to stay right here. She won't be able to run away from confrontation this time. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

I nodded. I understood her crytal clear and for once I actually agreed with Hertha. I needed to simply talk to Sigyn, but even more so-I needed to listen to her.