tales of the multifandom

113. coming out - sh

summary
months after alec's failed wedding when he finally comes out as gay and long after valentine and jocelyn's deaths, clary finds herself having to confront apart of herself she was afraid too

relationships
magnus bane x alec lightwood

cast
katherine mcnamara as clary fray
matthew daddario as alec lightwood
dominic sherwood as jace herondale
harry shum jr as magnus bane
alberto rosende as simon lewis
david castro as raphael santiago
emeraude toubia as izzy lightwood

fandom
shadowhunters

—

Clary has had to hide part of herself her entire life. She was well aware of her mother's views on homosexuals, and had made it clear to Clary she didn't have any trouble kicking her out if she ever came home with a girl. Though now of course she knows her mother never would have kicked her out, but the threat was still there, and it forced Clary to remain quiet about her sexuality from the age of 10.

Clary was sitting on the bench in the training room watching Alec and Jace spar, not really admiring but actually watching, so she could finally figure out the moves she was trying to learn. When Jace left, something about a patrol or something, Clary stood back up and faced Alec with her banto rods in each hand.

"Can i ask you something?" Clary asked, blocking Alec's advance.

"You can, doesn't mean i'll answer though." Alec grunted in reply, easily blocking Clary's attack.

"How did you know?" She then asked, jumping up when Alec tried to swipe her feet out and caught him in the jaw.

"Know what?"

"That you liked men." Clary stepped back from Alec, who had frozen. Because nobody had actually asked him that, and he's been out for months and izzy had known for years.

"Uh, i was 13 i think." Alec frowned, trying to remember. "Growing up in the institute it was only me and Izzy until i was 12. That was when Jace came to live with us. Before that all Izzy ever talked about was boys, and it wasn't until Jace started showing an interest in girls that i even realised i enjoyed my conversations with Izzy rather than Jace."

"So you just knew then?" Alec shook his head.

"Not at first. It took almost a year before i realised i had feelings for Jace. And another year after that to accept them. Why are you asking?" Clary handed Alec the banto rods and sat down to stretch.

"I've never found boys all that interesting." Clary shrugged. "I mean sure i like them, but not the way you or Izzy do. But my mum always made herself perfectly clear when i was really young that she would not tolerate any talk of homosexuals so i didn't even really know what it was until a few weeks ago. I guess i just, wanted to know how you knew."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Clary." Alec said surprisingly softly. "It took me 10 years to realise that sure, but if Magnus has taught me anything It's that who you like doesn't change who you've been your whole life." Clary didn't look up, but Alec could easily see she was conflicted. "Clary. It's important to remember that you aren't alone with this."

"Thanks Alec." Clary smiled up at him briefly. He helped her up, and then they went separate ways and that was that.

Magnus had invited the whole group around his place for cocktails a few weeks later, and Clary was sitting on one of the armchairs with a cocktail in hand slowly thinking over everything Alec had told her a few weeks ago. She's found herself noticing more things over the last week or so, like Maia was actually quite cute, or that Kailee was surprisingly hot. And she was internally screaming, because she'd never understood why she noticed girls instead of boys.

"What's wrong biscuit?" Clary jumped slightly in surprise. She hadn't seen Magnus approach her.

"I think i might like girls." She blurted out suddenly, surprising Magnus. "And i have no idea what i'm doing Magnus."

"Oh biscuit." Magnus crouched in front of Clary, sympathetic. "That's perfectly fine."

"B-but she told me it was wrong." Clary whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "Told me people like me, like us, had no place in our world."

"Clary." Magnus said firmly, gripping her hands in his. "There is nothing wrong with you. You remember how Alexander was at first. The way you Shadowhunters are raised to believe being gay, or bi, or a lesbian or asexual is wrong, but being who you are, is not wrong. Trust me biscuit, there is nothing wrong with you."

"There's not?"

"I'm going to tell you something." Magnus pointed at Raphael, who was talking to Luke. "Raphael is Asexual. He has no interest in sex whatsoever. Alexander is gay, Jace is bisexual and Simon is Pansexual. Izzy doesn't define herself with labels, and i am bisexual. But this doesn't define who we are, never has, and it never will."

"Okay."

—

authors note
this is abrupt but i just had this thought that jocelyn isn't nearly as okay with being gay as she is in the show. after all she grew up in alicante. anyway, here you go. please don't be offended, but this is just a story