tales of the multifandom

29. if i disappeared

summary
what if blaine anderson had clinical depression

relationships
kurt hummel x blaine anderson

cast
chris colfer as kurt hummel
darren criss as blaine anderson

fandoms
glee

(TRIGGER WARNINGS; THIS CONTAINS MENTION OF A SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND AN ACTUAL SUICIDE ATTEMPT PLEASE DONT READ IF THIS OFFENDS YOU)
(i hate this)

—

Blaine Anderson was a victim to a mental health condition called Chronic Depression. He was diagnosed when he was 8, Blaine found solitude in singing and dancing, which was the only thing stopping him from falling into bed and never getting back up, but this made him a target in his middle school and soon, by the age of 12 Blaine made his first attempt on his life. When he'd woken up in the hospital 3 days after, he hadn't been aware that he'd tried so his mother calmly explained to her youngest child that she was getting him into Dalton Academy, a school that has a zero tolerance policy for bullying.

The next 4 years for Blaine were better than he'd expected. The scars had healed and his mental state had evened out for the time being thanks to his medication, and Blaine thought everything was going to be amazing once he met Kurt Hummel. The boy was a ray of sunshine if Blaine had ever seen one and he loved Kurt's enthusiasm and excitement. In fact his relapse happened during his junior year. He hadn't seen it coming nor had his mother or any of his friends.

Blaine was in the school bathrooms, pacing back and forth with a frantic look on his face. His eyes were wide and his head was spinning but Blaine couldn't remember what was triggering it or why he was even panicking, but it was Finn and Puck who entered the bathroom at the right time to find Blaine's arms and hands covered in blood.

"Oh my god." Puck uttered in shock. "Blaine!" He yanked off his shirt and quickly wrapped it around Blaine's wrists, snapping Finn out of his stupor and he ran to find help. Puck held pressure on Blaine's wrists but the Anderson boy just stood frozen, like he couldn't believe what he'd just done.

Finn ran into the Choir room, breath harsh and uneven. Only Mr Shue was in there looking through music sheets, and he immediately stood up in alarm.

"Mr Shue, Blaine, he slit his wrists in the boy's bathrooms." Mr Shue's eyes widened.

"Go find Sue, she'll know what to do! And call 911!" Mr Shue bolts out of the room towards the bathroom while Finn runs towards Coach Sylvester's office. He doesn't even knock, bursting into her office.

"Mr Shue needs you in the boys bathroom Coach, Blaine just made an attempt!" Finn had never seen the woman look so horrified in his whole life as she bolted past him, and Finn called 911 before he went to find Kurt.

The next couple of days were a blur for the 16 year old boy. His head felt fuzzy and he wasn't entirely sure what was going on or where he was. When he finally came too, his back was sore and his arms felt heavy, but his fingers were intertwined with a familiar soft hand of his boyfriend. He squeezed Kurt's fingers just before opening his eyes, thankful the lights in the room weren't on.

"Kurt?" His voice was hoarse and sore, but he had to confirm who was siting with him.

"Yeah." Kurt let out a happy sob. "Yeah it's me."

"What happened?" Blaine wrinkled his eyebrows and attempted to sit up hoping it would relieve the ache in his back. Kurt helped him sit up, still holding onto one of his hands and brought the other to rest against his neck, pressing his forehead against Blaine's.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember," Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, clearly thinking. "I was heading to Glee club, when these two guys shoved me into a locker." Blaine's eyes drifted down to his arms which were wrapped in ace bandages. "Oh god."

Blaine was back at school a week later, much to his mother's protest. She wanted him to spend more time recovering since he still hadn't had his stitches removed but Blaine just had to get out of his house before he did something else stupid. So here he was, walking through the hallways towards his locker and all eyes were on him. Blaine wasn't even sure why they were staring at him since he wasn't dressed that good, just a simple pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt. His wrists were covered up by the hoodie he wore and his hair wasn't even completely gelled back, only enough to tame the curls. He quickly put his stuff in his locker and closed it, making his way towards the Choir room. He quickly made it there and walked in, trying his best to ignore the wide eyed looks everyone was sending him.

"Hey guys." Blaine greeted. "Mr Shue, is it alright if I say something?"

"Go ahead." Mr Shue sat down and Blaine smiled.

"Okay. I owe everyone in this room an explanation as to why I tried to take my life last week. So I have what is called Clinical Depression. It is a mental illness that I was diagnosed with at 8 years old." Blaine addressed the room. "When I was 12 years old I tried for the first time." People gasped and Blaine weakly chuckled. "I didn't see a way out, my life before I went to Dalton was horrible, worse than a lot of you guys. I was beaten, bullied, everything. So I broke into my parents medicine cabinet and took everything I could get my hands on. But, the only thing is I have no recollection of that day what so ever.

"The reason I did what I did last week was because these two guys just shoved me into a locker between class and i snapped. I don't actually remember doing it or anything in the three days after I did but according to Kurt I have Puck and Finn to thank."

"Dude, don't sweat it." Puck shrugged it off. "Kurt's my bro's bro, couldn't let you die."

"I'm just glad you're alright." Finn told Blaine.

"I'm sorry I scared you guys." Blaine apologised but Mercedes shook her head.

"Don't you dare apologies about something you can't prevent." She told him, getting up and hugging him.

"Group hug!" Brittany squealed, running to hug Blaine as everyone laughed and hugged in a big group.

Blaine was a boy with demons, but even those with demons have angels to guide the way and keep him same in this dark world.

—

authors note

so I cried a little writing this but this is my take on what would happen if Blaine tried to commit suicide.

Sorry if this made anyone pissed off but it's my life and my one-shot book so fuck you bish 😜

But for real you guys If any of you EVER feel this way, like you don't feel you can go on anymore I urge you to talk to someone. Depression isn't something to be ashamed of and I really hope you don't have to go through this alone.

My inbox is always open if you ever need a support system!! Love and respect to all of my readers!!