tales of the multifandom

66. insecure

summary
while magnus admits to alec he feels insecure about his eyes, alec admits something to magnus that surprises him

relationships
magnus bane x alec lightwood

cast
magnus bane
alexander lightwood

fandoms

shadowhunters

wing!fic

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Alec listened to Magnus explain his reasons behind hiding his eyes, that past lovers hadn't liked them, about his mother and step-father. But all the while, Alec couldn't stop thinking about the itch in his back and the twitching he constantly felt.

All Shadowhunters are born like mundanes, only when they receive their first rune it's when their wings emerge. It's a gruelling and painful process and each Shadowhunters wings reflect their family name. Lightwood's are supposed to have raven wings that fade with either white or grey undertones, but Alec didn't receive those. While yes his wings were black, the black faded off into a fiery red-gold colour that practically glowed and because of this his mother made him feel ashamed of them, therefore he never used them. Because he never learnt how.

"Magnus." Alec stood hesitantly in the bedroom door, leaning against the frame carefully.

"What's wrong Alexander?" Magnus could see there was something bothering the shadowhunter.

"When i was 10 years old my wings emerged 2 days after my rune ceremony." Alec said, his voice tight and controlled and Alec could see the curiosity in his eyes. "Uh, you were saying the other day that you were insecure about your eyes, and i realised there was one thing i had yet to show you."

"You don't have to feel obligated-" Magnus started to protest but Alec shook his head.

"It's okay, really." Alec assured him before taking another deep breath. "But the thing is, my wings aren't like other Lightwood's. They aren't like Izzy's raven black wings that have grey splattered across them or like my fathers black and white ones or even my mothers black ones."

"Alexander. A person's worth is not determined by the colour of their wings." Magnus said softly.

"I never learnt how to use mine." Alec uttered, looking anywhere but Magnus. "I can't fly with them so i keep them glamoured. My mother said it was my punishment for being the way i am that my wings were wrong and disgusting and no shadowhunter would ever love them." Alec choked on a sob, wiping at his eyes as Magnus gaped in horror.

"Oh Alexander. Nobody deserves to be treated that way." Magnus rests his hand on Alec's cheek, realising in the way he automatically leans into his touch without thinking about it. "Will you show me them?"

"I- yeah." Alec pulled away from Magnus and shed his t-shirt, ignoring Magnus' leering and concentrated on dropping his glamour that encompassed his wings that were folded down his back and legs. He shook out his shoulders and re-opened his eyes, slowly unfurling them to their full length and sighing in relief at the burn of stretching them out after so long. Magnus just stared in awe, the wings spread out to their full height and filling up most of the length of the room they were in.

"They are magnificent." Magnus breathed, looking at his boyfriend who was flushed red at the compliment. "Darling, these are nothing to be ashamed of."

"But they're not like my families." Magnus cut Alec off, covering his mouth with one hand.

"I knew your ancestors, Gideon and Gabriel Lightwood." Magnus stated. "Gideon had black wings that faded into a pastel orange and Gabriel's faded into a deep greenish blue." Alec's eyes were wide upon hearing this information. "Lightwood wings are not supposed to be just black and white or grey. The colour the black fades into represents the person you are inside Alexander. Your mother was probably more upset that she only has black wings, because Trueblood women receive black wings and Trueblood men receive white wings."

"At least she learnt how to fly." Alec mumbled sadly and Magnus' heart panged in pain. "I was never given that opportunity."

"I'm sorry darling." Magnus enveloped Alec into a hug, making a point of resting his hands on the shadowhunters wings at where they joined his back.

Later, when the two of them were curled up in bed together with Alec's wings covering them, Magnus broke the silence after a few moments.

"I know someone who could teach you, if you'd like." Magnus said to Alec, who seemed a little tense.

"Uhm, i'd like that i think." Alec finally agreed, kissing Magnus softly. "Thank you."

"Anything for you Alexander."

—

authors note

short but sweet