Suffering Part 2

Let Me Leave

Content warning: Self Harm and Suicide talk. If this is a trigger for you, please do not read. Take care of yourself.

Various people came in and out of the room over the next couple of days to check on Y/N. She refused to speak until they let her leave. Severus wouldn’t even look at her. He must have been sleeping elsewhere because he wasn’t in the bed with her. In the afternoon, Severus appeared with Cillian and it brought a smile to her face. She reached out her arms for him when she realized it was him and he went to embrace her. There was a tinge of pain in Severus’ face. He excused himself from the room.

“You scared the bloody hell out of me,” Cillian said looking down at her. “I’m sorry that you saw that. I wish you would have left me there a few moments longer,” she stated looking away. “Can you stop this nonsense? You have scared the shit out of everyone who cares about you. Severus thought you were dead when he came to get you,” he said, trying not to tear up. “I wish I had been,” she replied. 

They sat quietly for a moment, “Get me out of here, please Cillian,” she begged him. “Enough of that. Please Y/N.” he pleaded with her. “Leave,” she spat at him. She turned over like a child trying to not face him anymore. Cillian rose and couldn’t hold his tongue any longer, “You really are a fucking child. You know that? I did nothing but try to take care of you, regardless of yourself,” he yelled. He walked to the bedroom door and slammed it behind him. Y/N knew she deserved that. 

A few minutes later, Severus came in and sat on the edge of the bed. “I took him back to the village. You really upset him,” he said softly. “I don’t care,” she replied, not looking at him. “Will you please talk to me?” he begged. Her silence was deafening. Finally, she spoke, “I have nothing to say. I said everything I needed to,” she stated.

“You made a vow to me,” he said. “I said I would love you until my last breath, I did not say I would be here to see yours,” she turned to look at him. “Y/N, please stop this nonsense, you are breaking my heart,” he begged. Y/N turned completely around sitting up, “Good. Now you know how it feels,” she said in the coldest tone possible. “You think of no one but yourself,” he spat as he rose from the bed. 

“I thought of no one except for you and look where it got me. You will choose everything over me. I wish I had known that before we got married,” she said in a matter of fact tone. “I was doing this for us. I wanted to be able to live peacefully with you someday. There will be no peace if the Dark Lord takes over. You know that,” he replied. 

“Please take me to the cottage. If you cared about me at all, even for a second, take me back,” she begged. “No, I will not,” he scoffed. “Where is my cat? Did you kidnap him again?” she accused. She had just noticed that he wasn’t with her. She had only been thinking of herself. 

“He is in the dungeon where I am staying right now,” he stated. “Am I going to be allowed to shower at some point?” she asked as if she were a prisoner. “I can run a bath for you, but you cannot put your bandages in the water,” he replied. 

Y/N just closed her eyes, fuck. “I’ve already seen you. We had to change your clothes when you got here. Madam Pomfrey put some vanishing cream on the other..marks,” he said looking away as if he were recalling something troubling. “Can Pansy come help me?” she asked hopefully.

“She doesn’t know you are here. Only a few of us know. Please let me help you,” he said. “Can Draco come help me?” she asked, knowing the answer. “Over my dead body. I am still your husband, whether you like it or not,” he scoffed down at her. He went to the bathroom to start running the water. 

A few minutes later, Severus came to collect her. Y/N started getting out of the bed but it was difficult, she hadn’t walked in about 5 days at this point. She was also very weak from lack of eating and the blood loss.

 Severus just rolled his eyes and huffed, knowing she would try to walk anyways. “I’m done with this,” he said, picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom. 

He sat her down on the countertop near the sink. Her toothbrush was already beside his, which annoyed her to no end. She took it and brushed her teeth. Severus took his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves while she did so. 

“I’m doing this alone,” she stated looking at the already annoyed man. Severus’ eyes almost rolled into the back of his head. “It’s not feasible. Neither of your arms can go into the water,” he said in a condescending tone.

 “I will figure something out, just leave me be,” she begged. “Y/N, please let me help you. I will try my best not to make you uncomfortable,” he said with a sigh of frustration. “I’m already uncomfortable. I want to leave and no one will do what I ask,” she stated.

 “You have scared everyone half to death. We are all terrified you aren’t done trying,” he begged with tears in his eyes. “Let me do this alone,” she said. Severus was done with this nonsense. He went to take her shirt off, Y/N was still weak it was very easy for him to do so. She covered herself with her arms when he did so. 

He gently picked her up, placing her feet on the floor long enough to pull her panties off. He scooped her up again and gently lowered her into the hot bath. “I don’t want you to touch me,” she said with sadness welling up in her eyes. 

Severus said nothing just went about wetting her hair to wash it. Y/N placed her forearms on the edges of the tub so as to not get them wet. Tears were streaming down Y/N’s face as he very gently washed her hair and body. No other words were exchanged.

 He let the water out of the tub and picked up Y/N moving her to the counter again to dry her off. This entire ordeal had made her so tired she couldn’t fight anymore. He dried her and gently brushed her hair out. It was a mess from being in bed so many days in a row. He slipped one of her favorite t-shirts on.

 Apparently, he had gathered her belongings and brought them back. Y/N let herself slip down onto her feet long enough he could put panties on her. He then picked her up and carried her to the bed.

 “Can I please have my cat?,” she begged when he covered her up. Severus said nothing and went to retrieve the beautiful black cat from his old chambers where he had been sleeping. He brought him back and placed him next to Y/N. “Lay with me,” she said softly. She was still so mad at being brought here but when she was in his presence she slowly lost all her nerve. 

Severus sighed and went to get in bed behind her, gently moving behind her so as not to hurt her. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she spoke softly as tears flowed freely from her eyes. “I should have just come to get you after you left,” he replied in a shaky voice. 

“I love you,” she whispered. “I love you too, Princess. We can talk about this tomorrow. You need to rest,” he stated. She felt a kiss on the top of her head after he spoke.