Suffering Part 2

You're Right & I'm Wrong

Y/N fell into a deep sleep, unable to wake up until the following afternoon. The stress of their fight and the alcohol really took it’s toll on her. When she finally woke up, she went downstairs to make a cup of tea. Severus was of course already sitting on the sofa with Alfie reading the paper. “Merlin…” she muttered to herself by passing him to the kitchen. 

The kitchen was much too bright at the moment, she leaned over the sink to pull the drapes closed that were over that window. “Why does it have to be so loud?” she thought to herself, referring to the sunlight. “Go sit down, I will make it for you,” he spoke from behind her. 

“Merlin, I forgot you were here. I’ve got it,” she jumped, grabbing her chest. It was partly true, her mind was all over the place and nowhere at once. “Go, sit, down,” he spoke slowly. She turned around  angrily, staring at him. “Stop ordering me around like I’m a child. I’ve had enough,” she spat back at him. 

The tall dark man moved closer, placing his hands on the counter behind Y/N, “Then cease acting like one,” he ordered in a bone chilling tone. “Fuck, you,” she spoke slow enunciating each word. “Stop this before I return to the castle alone. You may sit here and be an insolent brat alone,” he insulted her. 

“I never asked you to come after me. You do that yourself when you start losing control of me,” she replied in her calmest tone she could currently muster. “Do you not want to be with me anymore? Is that it?” he asked, shaking his head with a heartbroken face. 

It made Y/N feel like shit to see that and hear that come from his lips. “I just need to breathe. You are suffocating me with this grip you have on me. The tighter you hold on to me, the more I want to run,” she said with a shaky voice, trying to hold on to her thoughts. 

“Come to the castle when you’re ready to discuss this, I suppose,” he said in his classroom voice. He was trying to hide all the pain in his voice but he wasn’t successful. Severus went back to retrieve his cloak and disapparated back to the castle without another word. 

Y/N let herself slide to the kitchen floor into a pile. She couldn’t hold it in any longer. After a few moments, she decided she did not actually want to spend days apart barely existing. She went upstairs to fix herself in the mirror, brush her teeth, and put on some clean clothes. Y/N went down and gathered her things, including Alfie, to go back to the castle. 

She thought of the huge arched windows, the large wooden bed with green sheets, the huge fireplace, she saw herself standing there. Suddenly she was pulled, standing right in front of the fireplace. 

The room was quiet, no sign of Severus. She placed Alfie down and hung up her bag. She walked to his office to see if he was there, but he wasn’t. Y/N decided to go back and lay in the bed to wait on him. After a bit, he came back through the chamber door, surprised that Y/N was there. He hung his cloak up on the hook next to her bag. 

“I’m sorry,” Y/N decided to admit first. “Whatever for?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and going to sit on the sofa.  “Are you not ready to makeup, Severus?” she asked while walking over to the sofa. “You do not get to speak to me however you choose,” he scolded her. 

“That’s a perfect example of why I’m not right for you. I will never be able to do what you want, not completely,” Y/N said, shaking her head and looking away. “You are scared,” he responded knowingly  as if he had just looked into her soul. It was the truth. She was scared. 

“I can’t live up to your expectations,” she replied softly looking into his eyes. “That’s not true,” he replied almost instantly. Y/N shook her head believing he was just trying to reassure her. “That’s what it feels like. It feels like I’m trying to constantly please someone who cannot be,” she confessed.