Diving Deep (requests closed)

Nishinoya Yu (Haikyuu) - Broken

This is for an angst oneshot challenge I did with some friends, but I decided to post it here as well so that I could try to break everyone else's hearts too! Sorry for the lack of fluff in here but I wanted to make it really angsty!

I sat on the edge of my  bed, staring at the most recent photo of us  together. It was a selfie Yu'd taken of us together near the river just a  couple of weeks ago,  taken on his phone and then forwarded to me just a  few moments later. I  could still feel the gentle breeze that had  caressed our faces and  ruffled our hair as we stood there grinning at  each other like a pair of  idiots. Maybe if I had said I love you one  more time, held his hand  just a little bit longer and let him know just  how much he meant to me,  he would still be by my side today.

Instead, all I had were  photos and memories, things that were  becoming more painful each time I  looked through each one or thought of  our time together. Was it always  supposed to hurt like this when you  lost someone you cared about? Did  the one left behind always feel their  heart breaking, shattered into  such painfully sharp fragments that  seemed to only remain so they could  tear you apart from the inside?

Getting up, I finally  started pulling myself together enough to get  ready for school,  something that I'd put off long enough that my  parents had put their  foot down and told me that I had to go today, no  matter how much I  begged to stay home just one more day.

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Taking a deep breath, I  went straight to the classroom so I could  avoid the pitying looks that  the other students had been giving me  before I'd quit coming to class.  At least I wouldn't have to deal with  their whispering for a while and I  could go over some of my old notes  to try and get my mind off  everything else.

Well, that had been the plan until I sat down. I'd forgotten  something though, something  important. HIS desk was in front of mine.  That was actually how we had  met, how we'd started talking and getting  to know each other. That was  the start of me falling in love with  Nishinoya Yu. I could feel the tears burning  in my eyes as memories  flashed through my mind.

Our first date, when he took me to see that movie everyone else had been talking about but I'd been too afraid to go alone.

The first time we held  hands, together at the amusement park, and  he'd been insistent that it was because  he didn't want me to get lost  in the crowd of people who seemed to tower over us.

The night we'd shared  our first kiss, lips barely brushing against  each other before we'd both  pulled away, too embarrassed to meet each  others eyes until he'd pulled  me into a hug and quietly whispered "I  love you" into my ear before  pressing kiss after kiss to my hair, my  cheeks and finally my lips  again.

And finally the day that  my heart broke, shattered like a precious  treasure that had once been so  carefully protected, only to later be  left precariously balanced,  forgotten at the edge of the shelf. Oh how  painful it had been when I'd  fallen from my place.

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I'm not sure how long I  had sat there but the next thing I knew, the  bell was ringing it's five  minute warning and the room was already  filled with whispering girls and  nervous looking boys. I barely had  time to dry my eyes before the  teacher walked in, glancing at me with a  hint of concern in her eyes  before heading to her desk and pulling  some papers out of her briefcase.

It was right before the  final bell to start class rang that it  happened. I heard that distinct  laughter, the same sound that I used to  love so much but instead of my  own laugh echoing after it, a different  laugh followed the sound. Her laugh, the girl who had stolen his  heart away from me, leaving me so cold and alone after being left  behind as the unwanted ex-girlfriend.

Looking up even though I  knew I shouldn't, I saw Yu kiss her on the  lips, one hand cupping her  cheek like he used to do with me. It wasn't  until I felt the first tear  hit my arm, almost scalding hot on my skin,  that I even realized I was  crying again. As the last piece of my heart  shattered, I finally stopped  feeling the pain, a sense of numbness  washing over me.

When he finally turned  around and saw me sitting there in my seat  with tears drying on my cheeks, I didn't even react to his  flinch,  turning to face the front of  the classroom as the teacher began taking  attendance. When my name was  called, I answered without even a tremor  in my voice.

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Everything was fine  until lunchtime came around. My heart, although  numb and empty feeling,  still beat. My eyes were scratchy but released  no tears. My mind had  finally stopped thinking about the time I had  spent with him, time that I  realize how had been wasted on him. I never  should have said yes to him  when he asked me out. I never should have  said no to the other boy who'd given his confession that same day,  energetic brown eyes wide with excitement.  Sadly, it was easier to see  our mistakes after they were made,  especially the ones that couldn't be  fixed.

I watched with a numb  heart as the boy I had refused once in the  past, simply because he was a year younger than me, shared his lunch  with a  girl I had once called my best friend. A girl that had left me  when Yu broke up with me, showing how little our friendship meant  to  her. What a fool I had been. Feeling the chill inside my chest grow even  colder, I turned  away from them and walked into the building.

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Glancing into a window  as I walked past, I was met with the  reflection of bloodshot eyes, tear stained cheeks  and dull, lifeless  hair that had lost its previous shine. I looked  like I belonged in a  morgue, not walking around a school full of  energetic students. Turning  away from the windows, I continued down the hallway towards my  destination, not one student that I passed saying a single word to me.  But I could hear their whispers following me like a dog nipping at my  heels.

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The first scream tore through the air, quickly joined by more as a  crowd of shaken students gathered near the entrance to the school.  Nishinoya's eyes grew wide at the sight that met him when he broke  through the crowd, guilt filling him at the vision of his ex-girlfriend  laying broken on the ground in front of him. Sadly, it was too late to  try to fix things between them, unable to go back and try to soften the  breakup and too late to try to make sure she would be okay.

The breakup had been too harsh and sudden, the first mistake he'd  ever made in their relationship. She hadn't been okay afterwards,  something that should have been obvious if he'd bothered to see anything  other than  the girl he'd left her for. And although he regretted  leaving her for someone else, someone he'd just caught kissing another  guy less than 20 minutes ago, the things between them could never be  fixed now.

After all, you couldn't fix something if the pieces you'd broken  weren't there anymore. The girl he'd loved, the one he'd left broken and  alone, was gone forever and he'd never live a day without feeling the  pain of regret fill him. He would give up everything, even volleyball,  if it would just bring her back and give him one more chance to make  things right again.

Just one more chance to give her the love she'd deserved to have,  that he'd failed to give her in the end. But sometimes second chances  were as unattainable as trying to touch a star with your fingertips. No  matter how hard he tried to reach out, not matter how many wishes he  made on them, the one star he wanted to have would be forever beyond his  grasp.