The Avengers preferences & Imagines

I Don't Blame You ➳ Steve Rogers

A/N: Okay I am trying to think of ideas for new preferences until then you will have to read these, I'm so sorry. Anyways I hope you enjoy it.

Sorry if it's bad, i didn't have much time and i just feel sad after talking to someone this morning. i hate my life and maybe this is my last imagine before i leave

WARNINGS: MISCARRIAGE

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You never thought one word could tear you up so badly. That it could hold such power over you. It was hard to believe how happily you'd gone into that doctor's appointment, but then again, you hadn't expected such horrible news.

You lay in bed, curled up into a ball. As soon as you and Steve had gotten home, you'd made your way to your bedroom and hadn't moved since. You didn't think you could handle going about your day like everything was normal. Like you were still just under three months pregnant and that in another six months or so, you and your husband would welcome a tiny baby into your family. Because that wasn't going to happen. Something had gone wrong and you miscarried.

You squeezed your eyes shut as tears slid down your face. It wasn't fair. That had been your baby. The baby that you and Steve created, together. One symbol of your endless love for each other. And it had been taken away, just like that. You had even decided on names. You had decided on James if it were a boy. Steve had wanted Brooklyn if it were a girl. You wished you hadn't chosen names. It only made the pain worse now. You had already imagined how the child would look. You could picture their smile, so much like their father's. Maybe they would have your hair, but not your eyes, because you'd always hoped your child would have Steve's eyes.

There was nothing you could do to calm yourself down. You kept thinking that somehow this was your fault. You wracked your brain for any idea of something you might've done during these past months that would have terminated your pregnancy. But even though you couldn't think of anything, you continued searching your memories, sure that you had done something wrong.

Steve stood in the doorway to the bedroom he shared with you. In his hands was a plate of food that he hoped he could get you to eat. You had come home from the doctor's around ten this morning, and it was already almost eleven at night, and you hadn't eaten a thing. He gazed at the lump in the bed that was you sadly, wishing he could do something. But as hurt as he was by the news, he knew you were feeling even lower than him.

He quietly set the plate down on the nightstand and gently sat on the bed, resting a hand on what he guessed was your shoulder.

"I brought something for you to eat, Y/N." No response.

"Baby, please say something. You've been in here all day." You flinched at what he called you. You didn't need a reminder of what you'd lost.

He felt you shaking and reached under the covers, gently pulling you out and onto his lap. You tried resisting but he was too strong for you. And subconsciously, you needed someone to comfort you, even if you didn't think you wanted it.

He wrapped one arm around you and guided your head to his shoulder, running his fingers through your hair. You just sat there for a moment, unable to do anything. Before long, however, you wrapped your arms around him and sobbed into his chest.

He rocked you back and forth, doing his best to calm you down. It killed him to see you like this. And as much as he wanted to break down and cry with you, he knew you needed him to be strong right now. And he would do that for you.

After several minutes, your sobs quieted and you just lay against him, exhausted. But a nagging worry in your head wouldn't allow you to stay silent for long. Wiping your eyes, you pulled away and looked at Steve. Unable to handle the absolute love for you he held in his eyes, you glanced away.

"Steve you don't.........you don't, blame me for this, do you?" you questioned, barely speaking above a whisper.

Steve jerked in surprise at your question. He took your face in his hands and brought your face up so he could look you in the eyes.

"Why would you think that, Y/N?"

You felt your bottom lip tremble. Why, oh why, did he have to look at you so tenderly? Tears threatened to escape your eyes once more. You inhaled sharply, attempting to prevent yourself from breaking down again.

"Because what if this is my fault?" you asked, in a gasping manner. "What if I did something that I shouldn't have and it killed our baby? We were so happy to have a child, YOU were so happy to have a child. What if I did something wrong? I-"

Steve silenced you with a gentle kiss. When he pulled away, you let out a sob and buried your face in your hands. He cradled you to him and pressed his cheek to your head.

"I could never blame you for this, Y/N. These things happen all the time. And nothing you did caused it. You were always careful to not do anything that you thought might be stressful for the baby. Yes, I was very happy to be able to have a child with you. But we can always try again. When you think you're ready, we can try again. We'll have a baby, Y/N. We just have to wait a little longer."

"But I don't want to disappoint you again, Steve. What if I just can't handle the idea of trying again?" He kissed your forehead.

"You can never disappoint me, sweetheart. And if you don't think you can do it, I won't make you. We can always talk about this again later. But for now, try not to think about." You nodded slowly and hugged him.

"I love you so much, Steve."

"I love you too, Y/N. More than anyone or anything in the world. Even more than the US." You exhaled a laugh, which caused Steve to smile.

"There. We're making progress. I was starting to worry I'd never see your beautiful smile again." You leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"When you're around I can't keep a smile off of my face for very long," you said, softly.

"I'm glad I can make you happy. Do you want something to eat now?" You nodded and reached for the plate Steve had brought up. He beat you to it, however, and picked up the fork to feed you. You chuckled before letting him put the fork in your mouth. You leaned on his shoulder and sighed, wrapping one arm around his back.

You knew you would always have Steve to catch you when you fall. And hopefully someday soon, you'd be able to finally see the little smile you'd always dreamed about.