The Avengers preferences & Imagines

Steve x reader

A/N: Posted a Pietro smut in my smut book, I've been thinking of stopping the smut mondays unless you guys still want them. This book is nearing 200K and that just makes me so happy, thank you all so so so much.

Enjoy!

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They were a frequent ritual for you, nightmares that shook you to your core. You'd wake up screaming, piercing the air until you couldn't breathe.

 Concealer was supposed to be your best friend as it hid the bags under your eyes. Your smiles were as fake as they come, hiding pain and exhaustion that you could barely stifle, too tired to even yawn. Maybe too tired to try and close your eyes at night. You could fake it with the best of them.

But Steve could tell, he had always known you better than anyone else. Although you could easily lie to him on the phone, thanks to the long mission he had to go on. He couldn't see you and couldn't tell from your tone of voice that you were laying bed, wide awake. He would apologize for his calling so late but you welcomed it, putting off the nightmare you were certain you'd have for at least a few hours. You'd rather listen him than the voices in your dreams coming closer to you.

Then he came home from the mission and you were different, and not in a good or healthy way. You put more sugar in your coffee than normal even though the powdery taste didn't have something pleasing to you. The deep imprint on yours and his bed was no longer there, rumpled sheets from bad nights of sleep in it's place. You had always slept like a rock so at first he chalked it up to you getting used to sharing a bed again but soon he realized he'd been home for a month and you were walking like you had anchors tied to your feet.

So he asked you, and you lied. That was the first time and the only. The look of disbelief that had a barely veiled shade of hurt had you backpedaling. You didn't like lying to the man you loved but you couldn't tell him, he worried a lot anyway and would somehow find a way to blame himself for something that wasn't even remotely his fault.

So when he asked, you didn't lie but you didn't tell the truth. Every are you alright answered with a no but you quickly left so you didn't have to explain why. He wanted to push it but figured you'd come to him when you were ready.

You didn't have to.

You had avoided falling asleep in a situation where you hadn't set an alarm for a few hours later. You figured sleeping in increments were a lot better than none at all. He had thought a vacation is what the two of you needed and you agreed, thinking maybe getting away from it all would help. It might have even made it worse.

Screaming is what woke him from a deep slumber. The kind of screaming that had him reaching for the bat he usually had beside the bed but he hadn't brought it with you on vacation. His free hand had come to your back, you usually were laying on your stomach with your face pressed into the mattress, to protect you but he got a hold of your stomach instead. He turned to you, still in a muddle of his sleep and shock. He watched for a moment as you thrashed around, mumbling as you fought demons that were invisible to his eyes. The pieces clicked together slowly but eventually he realized you were dreaming.

"Wake up." He mumbled, shaking his head to clear the fog as he got a hold of your swinging arms. Your screaming hadn't stopped, growing in the decibel by the seconds. Louder and louder. "Darling, wake up please"

"No- Let me- Stop!" You were fighting him hard as you could, your arms moving in every direction just to stop him. He couldn't tell if restraining you was making you more erratic or if it helped ground you. He didn't know what else to do besides wait for you to calm a bit before he tried again.

"Hey, sssh. It's Steve." You had your arms pinned to your sides and he was practically on top of you as you weakly struggled, eyebrows furrowing as he seemed to get through to you. You mumbled, a whimper leaving your throat as you arched up before dropping back down beneath him.

"Wake up." He demanded and it was like a shock to your system as you snapped awake, a scream of absolute terror took over as you took in the dark figure hovering over your body. He probably should have switched on a light instead of relying on moonlight to light up his features. He let go, hands raising as you slinked from his grip and backed to the headboard, knees coming to your chest as your eyes scanned the room for whatever was attacking you like you expected it to come to life.

"Ssssh, hey." He reached his hand out for you but you flinched so violently when his hands touched your knees that he almost fell off the bed from the force of it. You however did, crawling backwards to the corner of the room so he couldn't touch you again. He watched you go with his eyes like saucers, unmoving and confused. What was he supposed to do now?

 He mumbled 'alright' to himself before he slowly climbed off the bed, a pair of blue eyes locked on you. He walked to you gently, not wanting to startle you as you rested your head on your knees and rocked back and forth. It was a familiar position from the months you'd been having this same reoccurring nightmare.

"Sweetheart." He whispered, crouching down in front of you to try and get you to look at him but you were nothing like this.

"Don't hurt me." Your voice had a scared and vulnerable lilt to it. Steve never heard you like this before. He braced an arm on the wall as he prepared himself to talk you to the now instead of in your dream. 

"You know I'm not going to hurt you."

"You said that b-before." Heartbreak is when the person you love breaks up with you, not when a nightmare scares the person so much that they fear you but he was certain what he felt is heartbreak.

"I'm not going to hurt you." His voice was firm, reaching your heart and wrapping in your mind like an anchor. You glanced up and this Steve was different. The monster that you had seen in your dream was no longer there.

"Steve?" You whispered ad he gave you a soft smile, eyes reflecting you scared form in the corner. Fear had hold of features that you never noticed before. The creases in your forehead, the crinkle of your nose.

 You threw yourself at him and he rocked back on his heels. Barely catching himself in favour of catching you and holding you like you would pull back again.

"I've got you." He promised, his hands smoothing your hair and his lips pressing to your head only letting up to speak. "Steve has you." He had referred to himself as Steve as a grounding mechanism, reminding you it was him and not whatever version of him you'd seen in your dream.

"You were a monster. Like not with fangs but your eyes were black. You were hurting me because you wanted to and you kept on saying you hated me." You continuously mumbled, telling him so you could do the one thing you hadn't since the nightmares started. To talk about it.

"Well you do not have to worry about that. I'd never hurt you and you are crazy if you think I could ever hate you." He held you for a very long time, waiting for you to fall asleep on his shoulder before moving you. He carried you to the bed, tucking you in before crawling in beside you and wrapping his arms tightly around you. You curled in his hold, your hands gripping his. He held on to you the entire night. It was the first night that you got any rest.

It took time to find what helped you sleep, the nightmares dwindling as you were discussing them with Steve. Eventually you figured out what did and did not help. His arms were the place you felt safest but when he left for a mission, a thick blanket and playlist that he let Tony make specifically for you did the trick. And when he came home with a guard dog, a small golden retriever. It was there for you to have something to hold on to when he was on a mission, you had to go out because of the dog but it made you happy.