Premier League football imagines

Declan Rice

anorexia
/ˌanəˈrɛksɪə/
noun
lack or loss of appetite for food (as a medical condition).
an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat.
NB- this is a super sensitive imagine. If you are uncomfortable with anorexia or bulimia then I suggest you skip this imagine
Y/N - your name

I let out a nervous sigh as I put my white dress with floral patters on my weak and frail body. I take a look in the mirror as I pose to try and find a flattering position that I'd at least look good in but not to my surprise, I looked terrible every angle I stood in. I sit down by my table and start on some makeup to bring some life back to my face as I've lost all my colour from not eating.

Growing up, I was always the chubby girl at school. Always the one that wore a size 10 and never a size 4 like the rest of the girls. I was even wearing size 13 year old clothing by the time I was nine years old. I also struggled losing weight. No diet would help. No exercise would help. I would just stay the same weight or if I did lose a little bit of weight, I would gain it in a weeks time.

I tried becoming vegetarian. Hell, I even tried going vegan, but nothing helped me lose weight. One night I decided to eat less than what I ate the day before and did that for about a month and saw drastic weight loss. I then went from skipping a snack, to skipping a meal, to skipping at least two meals a day. Currently, I don't eat. The most I'd eat in a day is some fruit and have gallons of water since it helped me think I was full.

About 4 months ago, I met Declan. He really made me happy but the only issue with dating him is that I've felt that I've needed to lose more weight to look pretty for him. He never said I was fat nor even implied that but his fandom could be demanding. I couldn't help sitting down and crying myself till I was sick reading the comments under the pictures Declan would post of us on social media.

The words "fat" and "not good enough" were always the one that hurt the most because it proved everything I tell myself everyday when I look in the mirror is true. With dating Declan, it was difficult to hide this. I don't see it as anorexia but my close friend Melissa is convinced it is. Since I lived with her before moving in with Declan, she saw how little I ate and tried to help me but I refused since I believe it genuinely isn't an illness.

But since Melissa is convinced its anorexia, I pretend it is when I'm around Declan because if he found out, he'd probably also think it's anorexia. We have been on lunch dates but I'll always lie and say I've eaten before coming or I'll have some fruit. He always questions me as to why I don't eat properly but I just say I eat like a pig when I get home.

After putting some makeup on, I let out a staggered sigh as Declan walks in. "Are you ready to meet the parents?" He asked as I smiled and nodded. "Just a bit nervous." I said as he smiled at me and kissed me on my head. "They'll love you but not as much as me." He said as I smiled and kissed his lips.

I was nervous to meet his parents because it is obviously a big step but also because I was going for dinner and I didn't know how to not eat the food without being disrespectful. We go downstairs and lock the house and enter the car. The drive wasn't long as they lived close to us. The drive was also quiet since I was coming up with a plan to figure out how to not eat.

Should I give it to the dog? No, it's obvious. Should I say I'm full? No I can't because Declan has been home the whole day and hasn't seen me eat. Wait! I could eat it but then go to the bathroom and throw it up. I know that's not exactly healthy but it helps me not pick up weight. I rarely do this because I hate throwing up, but in tough situations like this, I needed to do this otherwise I'd just pick everything up again.

The car came to a stop as I look outside. The house is big with beautiful trees and flowers around the house. "Let's go gorgeous." Declan said as he got out the car and opened the door for me. We walked to the front as he knocked on the door. His parents soon opened and his mother came and hugged me first. "It's lovely to finally meet you Y/N" she said as I smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you too." I said as Declan's father came towards me and gave me a hug too.

"Come inside you two. It's a bit chilly tonight." Mrs Rice said as I nodded and walked inside. We walked straight to the living room where the table was already set up with all the food on the table already. "Take a seat. The food is hot I promise. I just finished cooking." She said as I nodded. Declan pulled the chair for me as I thanked him and sat down.

I looked at the plate and my stomach grumbled. Oh no. "Someone's hungry." Declan said as I smiled at him. I hated this because it meant that it would be hard mentally to throw up. We started eating as I dished as little as possible of the pasta and vegetables that she made onto my plate. "Dear don't be shy. Eat some more!" Mrs Rice said as I gave her a smile. "No thank you Mrs Rice. I think I'm catching a bit of a cold so I don't wanna eat to much and then I get ill." I said as she smiled and nodded her head.

It was very nice talking to all of them and getting to know each other, but all I wanted to do was to get this pasta out of my stomach. The creamy taste was making me extremely hungry and I couldn't allow this. "Sorry, may I be excused to the bathroom?" I asked as they all nodded and ushered me to go. "Second door on your right." Mrs Rice said as I nodded and walked there as quick as possible.

I sat down and put two fingers down my throat and began throwing up the pasta. My eyes started to tear up as this was super difficult to do. Time flew by without me even noticing until I heard a knock on the door. "Babe are you okay?" Declan asked as I stood up but not quick enough as he walked in and saw the tears in my eyes and the dinner I just ate in the toilet. "Baby..." he started saying until I burst into tears.

He grabbed me and hugged me as I just cried into his neck. "Stay here. I'm just gonna speak to my parents quickly." He said as I nodded. I was worried he was gonna tell his parents but at this rate I didn't care. I flushed the toilet and he walked back in. "Let's go talk in the guest room." He said as I nodded. We walked to the guest room and we both sat on the bed after Declan close the door.

"Babe, are you bulimic?" He asked as I shook my head no. "Then what was that?" He asked as my head dropped down. I was ashamed that this happened. I was proving Declan how weak I am and I hated that because it meant he could possibly want to leave me. "Baby please just tell me." He said as I sighed. I then told him my whole childhood story and told him what I've been doing.

He shook his head in shock but gave me a smile. "I don't judge you Y/N. I don't want you doing it but don't you think for a second that I'm gonna let you fight this illness alone. How about this, on Thursday when I don't have training, let's go to a doctor and a dietician and get you back on track. I know it's a lot to ask for but what you're doing to your body now isn't helping you and means it won't help your future which means it won't help our future." He said as I nodded.

He had a really good point. I didn't wanna die nor did I not wanna risk the chance of not being able to have kids. I looked up at him as I nodded. "Okay, let's do this, together." I said as he gave me a smile and kissed my dry lips.

*****

Hi guys. I know this is super sensitive but I thought it would be a good imagine to write but I also wanna say this to spread awareness. Don't bully someone over their weight as this is what it could lead to. Never, ever think that you're better than anyone else and just respect all of those around you. Don't forget to say a compliment to someone as it could be that thing they needed for them to not do anything drastic. Just be kind and spread positivity especially during these tough time. Stay safe everyone. Love you all!