What Was Worth A Heart

Chapter 106: Of Care And Love

A/N: Now that I've started. I can't seem to stop. I have an important exam next three weeks and here I am. Warning, do not attempt. 

***********************************************************************

Micah had excused himself to relieve the migraine he was starting to have. Having not returned for at least half an hour, Charles took it that the doctor had only wanted to give him space or refused to be in his presence any longer. He did cast Charles a suspicious glare before he left, saying "If anything goes wrong, make sure you click that button at the headrest. Don't be distracted, it's important." 

Smirking to himself, Charles dimmed the lighting of the room, allowing himself to be relaxed by the darkness. There weren't much need for bright lightings. It was already dark out, and Shao Long was not on life support. There weren't many factors that should be concerning. A person can return home a few hours after a pacemaker fitting surgery, and a few days was enough to heal them. Some take longer, but most of the case, it took a week and a half. 

Seeing Shao Long after so many days brought a smile to his face. The American brought up a hand to Shao Long's cheek, caressing it lightly. As he previously always did, he pressed on a little on the pale skin, trying to bring some colour to his face. It failed, much to his disappointment. It only causes discomfort, from the way Shao Long's fingers twitched. 

"It's not fair, is it?" Charles sighed, eyes moving down from Shao Long's lashes to his lips that were slightly parted. "I lived my life, thinking that I can accomplish just about anything by being a little cruel. I had no problem with it before. But to think that I would feel so guilty doing all sorts of cruel things just to save you, is remarkable. I should be glad even, that the twin sister just happens to be alive. I should be glad that I can save you, like I felt when I was able to save everyone else, but why was it that with you, I'd feel so guilty?" 

Of course, no reply. 

"I even questioned, if I truly did like you, care for you and love you. I did multiple tests online for that damn reason." Charles muttered to himself. "When all the results said that yes, I am in love with you, I began to understand why." Charles' attention was brought back to Shao Long's cheeks that remained pale, resisting the urge to press harder. 

"I realized that I wanted to make you as happy as possible, not just alive, not just safe. I know you'd be mad, that's why I hesitated. I know you'd be upset that I became cruel, because that's what I did to you 2 months ago, and when we were 6. You'd be furious if you'd know, which you will.  You'd say "What if, like me, the people you're being cruel to, end up with their whole lives destroyed?" I wouldn't know what to answer, because I had never thought about all that before. I realized why is it that I became like this." 

Charles shook his head. "It's because I love you. And it's not fair that when I'm finally feeling guilty over all the cruel things I did, for you, you thought that dying wasn't so bad. If you think that death is your salvation, then I.....I....." 

It definitely wasn't always that Charles didn't know what to say. Shao Long was always able to bring out the worst sides of him. If there was anyone in the world who had seen all sides of him, it would be Shao Long. 

"It's so not fair..."  

But who was he to stop what Shao Long wanted. He couldn't even save Shao Long in his nightmare, much less in something he couldn't control. 

"Would you have allowed me to use your aunt to save you, though." Charles thought aloud. "Or would you find a key to this mess, and save us all." 

Or would you succumb to Xi Shen Ko's manipulation. 

Or would you leave us all without saying goodbye.