ᶠÚᵗᵇᵒˡ Oɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs ⎳⎳

Chilhood sweetheart pt.2

- "You sure you're fine alone in the condo, son?"

- "Mami, this is the fourth time you've asked..stop worrying okay? I'm fine." Neymar sighs, his mother looking at him with eyes of worry.

It's been a few years since his departure, and they've barely caught a glance of each other ever since. Neymar moved out, saying he can't 'handle things' anymore, and doesn't want to bother annoying his parents by it, despite his parents begging him to stay.

Neymar has grown alot ever since, well only in age. At 19, he's been the same. He still remembers the final few seconds with Lionel, before he grasped Neymar into a sorrowful kiss, running off immediately after. It left Neymar sinking to the ground and sobbing, but nothing could be brought back, or changed.

He's been gloomy ever since. His parents didn't want to pressure him anyhow, and didn't see any reason why. Their son is excelling as always, but his gestures is what surprises them. He pays them a visit, but it all seems like a good for nothing since he's the same.

His parents expect him to at least have a smile on, but that was 3 years back, unfortunately. And so today, as Neymar stops by to pay a weekly visit, his parents, mom in particular, racks him with the same statement.

She's a mom, and she knows what her son is going through, despite Neymar moving out. She knows that their bond is un-breakable, but it had to be done that day. She know everything all too well, which is why everything concerned her more.

- "I'm leaving then mami, thank you for the meal. Love you, take care." He places a kiss on her forehead, hugging his dad, then sprinting off with his book bag. The couple sigh, exchanging glances, eyes clouded with worry.

---

Sleep, eat, study, sleep, repeat. What else am I supposed to do? Cry? Hah, jokes on you. I've been a loner, but what for? It's not like no one knows, everyone knows why, and still they manage to piss me off. Yes, when I say I'm fine ofcourse I'm not fine and I fucking know it because I'm not a self-delusional bastard who manages to posess the best of themself.

I feel damaged, and left un-treated. I've spent 3 years, 3 years with the same weight on my chest, the same agonizing pain. Nothing changed. All the sleepless nights, I picture that day. That day. Everything is still so vivid, and vile in my memory.

I used to break down to tears thinking about that day, those few split seconds we shared that kiss under the rain, but not anymore. Now I'm not in the body of a scrawny teenager anymore like I used to be. I've grown into a man, externally.

Internally, it's just me. My little teenage self crying his eyes out. There are times when I can't help but to really cry..it's really hard not to. Someone you've spent nearly your entire childhood years with, sharing the best moments with, falling in love, and at the end, all goes down the drain.

I've been treasuring the moments to this day, and seeing pictures of us makes me wanna cry because every time I see it I realize it's the bitter truth. No him, no us, and no me. I was living for him, and right now, there's no point of living. I see no us. No him. Nothing. Everything in complete ashes, complete ashes.

Despite of all the best grades and cheers, parental support, awesome friends...none managed to change me the slightest. I remained like I was; heartbroken. Even passing by that one, oh so familiar street, haunts me with his memories.

Why? Why was it me? Why was it us? Why was it him? I feel a sting to my eyes, letting the tears fall. Let my notes ruin..I don't care. Out of studying, I won't get him back. So what's the point?

- knock knock -

Who the fuck is here at 10? I rub my face, groaning and swinging the door open.

There's only one word I can say now, my whole world has turned upside down.